Six Habits of Highly Attractive People

Six Habits of Highly Attractive People

   Six Habits of Highly Attractive People  Everyone has met somebody who, physical appearance aside, is just truly, deeply appealing. Whether they are physically attractive or not, members of the opposite sex flock to them in droves, and though you’d like to be annoyed by that, you might actually have a bit of a crush on them yourself. You just want to get to know them better – and so does everyone else. Whether we are male or female, each of us likely spends hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars over the course of our lives in an effort to improve our physical appearance. We sweat at the gym, buy flattering clothes, shave, bathe, and style our hair in order to maintain our physical appeal – but how much time do we spend cultivating that curious internal magnetism that is actually the basis of most attraction?

Below are five simple habits that can increase your charisma, confidence, and sense of self.

1. Empower yourself!  The Law of Attraction dictates that we tend to arrive at the outcome which we most expect. Of course this principle does not always hold true – unfortunately for my toddler, who expected cookies for dinner – however, there is certainly something to it.


When we radiate a genuine confidence in our actions, others tend to believe in our goals as well. After all, if we don’t believe we deserve our desired outcome, why should the rest of the world? Focusing on reasons why we should reach our goal puts us in a more confident mindset, and genuine confidence is an infinitely attractive trait. It also helps us to perform at our best.
A teenager asking a girl to a school dance is much more likely to get a “yes” if he is smiling, standing tall, and cracking jokes than if he is staring at the floor and mumbling.

The message that the latter gives is that he doesn’t think she should want to go to the dance with him. This might, in turn, make her doubt her attraction to him in the first place. However, a wide smile and clever joke will make her feel comfortable, connected, and excited for the fun-filled evening ahead.

A good way to empower yourself before a big moment like this is to write down ten reasons why the person would want to say yes. Once you internalize these reasons, even if you are denied, you will feel that it is their loss and find it easier to move on from the rejection.

Even more effective than doing this before a big moment is to practice it in your daily life. By consciously noticing when you elicit a smile, or when your hair looks great, or when your speech was well received, you are training your brain to look for these positive traits in yourself and, in turn, to see yourself in a flattering light. When you see yourself as an appealing, clever, magnanimous person, others will too.

2. Take Time to Meditate.  Most people feel stressed and unsure of themselves when entering a new social situation. Although this is completely natural and understandable, it is far from the best mindset to be in when you want to give off a good impression. A simple trick to counteract this is to learn how to meditate.

Meditation has been shown to lower stress levels, and in particular the traits of anxiety, impulsiveness, and worry, all of which often lead to social blunders. It also strengthens your mental strength and focus, creativity, and memory, qualities which are crucial to good conversation and building relationships. Best of all, it only takes twenty minutes a day.  Science Proves The Power Of Meditation


3. Know Yourself, Be Yourself.  Personal congruence is the practice of aligning your thoughts, words, and actions. Congruence is the quality that causes a person to come off to others as authentic and self-assured.

Practicing congruence promotes self-confidence because you are acting with integrity, and because others are responding to you as you truly are rather than as you think they would like you to be. Being congruent is about embracing and expressing your true feelings.  Most people fail to be congruent because they do not want to show weakness.

However, I have found that some of my best friends are those who have known me at my worst, most unattractive moments. There’s something very endearing and relate-able about someone who is being vulnerable – even though they are not perfect. Genuine flaws are usually much more charming than a manufactured veneer of perfection.

4. You do you, honey!  Do things because you genuinely want to – not because you want to appear a certain way to others or to fit in. When you stop looking for validation from others, you free yourself up to pursue interests and hobbies that you may never have considered before – which will, in the end, make you a more well-rounded and interesting person. Your passion for the pursuits you have chosen will be attractive to others, because nothing is more appealing than someone who is genuinely having a good time.

Think of the last truly and universally likeable person you encountered – did he need you to like him? Of course not – because he liked himself. Take back control of your self-image by worrying less about what others think of you and more about who you really are and how much you are enjoying life. 10 Bad Habits to Avoid for Optimum Success


5. Listen Up!  Everyone loves to talk – but few have perfected the art of listening. As the wife of a very good listener, I can tell you from the outside what a profound impact it has on people. Most people, myself included, tend to talk too much because we are eager to make a connection. However, it’s in listening that you come to truly understand a person and what makes them tick.

Because he is a natural at this, my husband not only attracts people and makes them feel comfortable, but is also able to offer thoughtful insights regarding their problems, strengths, and motivations. Listening opens your mind, strengthens your sense of empathy, and develops your ability to connect. As someone who struggles to develop this skill, I cannot recommend it highly enough!

6. Shake It Off!  Everyone has felt the sting of rejection – even Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, if we dwell on these rejections and the reasons why others might not like us, we can train our brain to look for our flaws and blunders – creating the opposite of the effect discussed above in tip #1. The fact that not everyone will like us can be disheartening, or it can be tremendously freeing. Rejection, after all, is rarely about your defects.

More often, two people simply don’t mesh well, and you are both better off putting your time and energy into other relationships.  The funny thing about becoming a truly and deeply appealing person is that, if you have this quality, you likely don’t even care – because you love yourself regardless. Your most important and long-lasting relationship is the one that you have with yourself. Cultivate that, and the rest is sure to fall into place.

8 Brutally Honest Truths You Need To Hear If You Want To Get Your Shit Together

No matter how much we believe we have our “shit” together, life carries many harsh truths, and no matter how much we may wish to run away from them, it is only through accepting them that we can take full responsibility for our lives.

You may be aware of some of these already, but for the rest, I’m willing to be the blunt bastard that tells them to you. You may hate me today, but you’ll thank me tomorrow.

For the record, this isn’t meant to be a pessimistic rant about how tough life is. It’s meant to motivate you to take action armed with this knowledge.


Here are 8 brutally honest truths you need to hear if you want to get your shit together in both video and written form:

1. You’re Going to Regret How Much Time You Spend on Social Media

Social media is amazing, and I’m as addicted to it as you are. But social media is also making us all more disconnected than we’ve ever been before through the illusion of increased connection. Yes, we are able to communicate with thousands of people with ease, but with what depth?

Social media is robbing way too many of us of real connection and real life experiences. Rather than looking at the world as we walk somewhere or ride public transit, we regress to what the digital world has to offer.
If our addiction level stays the same, things could become really scary, and this doesn’t even take into account the potential repercussions of so much exposure to technology.

2. Your Reactions Are the Problem

Yes, shit happens. And quite often that shit really sucks to have to go through or deal with. But regardless of how challenging something is, it’s always our reaction to it that will dictate how much it is going to impact our lives.

You decide how much, and for how long, getting cut off on the highway is going to piss you off, and you decide how much someone’s poor opinion of you is going to make you shell up in insecurity. Let your natural reactions happen, but then consciously choose how long you want to let them impact everything else.

3. The Riskiest Thing You Can Do Is Avoid Risks

Whether or not you consider yourself a risk-seeker, there is nothing more risky than complacency. I’m not suggesting that you cannot get to a point where you are truly happy with your life and therefore simply want to sustain that lifestyle, but I’m suggesting that never taking any risks is about as dangerous as it gets.

Stop playing small if you know you want to play big, and stop telling yourself “this is good enough” if you know deep down you would love to do, create, and have so much more. The cost of taking that risk is your long-term happiness.

4. You Should Always Have Enough Money for What Matters

“I would love to attend that seminar or buy that course that can change my life, but money is too tight right now.” As true as that may be, you should always have more than enough to do the things that really matter.

The biggest obstacle is the way we instead spend it on the things that don’t. We don’t process buying a $7 premium coffee daily as an investment in nothing, but we do overthink and see spending a couple hundred dollars on something life-changing as too much. I’m not suggesting we start spending recklessly, or never treat ourselves, but rather that we do reassess how we currently spend our money.

5. People Are Going to Hate You No Matter What You Do

You can try and people please your entire life, but no matter what, some people are always going to dislike you. So rather than wasting your time trying to match what you think is the most acceptable, spend that time accepting exactly who you are.

6. Blaming Only Makes You Weaker

In the moment, to unjustly direct blame towards a circumstance or other person may seem relieving, but in the long term it really takes its toll. The less you take responsibility for your actions and decision making, the weaker you become mentally.

Taking responsibility may come with some immediate repercussions, but over time, it builds a life founded on honesty, and it strengthens your ability to tackle challenges when they do arise.

7. People Don’t Think of You as Much as You Think They Do

From our perspective, the whole world revolves around us, but there are 7 billion people who see it the same way. While we are not all inherently selfish or self-obsessed, we are all far more concerned with how we are perceived by others than how we perceive them.

So once again, embrace your true self and find peace in knowing that people are too concerned with themselves to give you as much as attention as you think they are.

8. Not Even the Perfect Relationship Is Going to Complete You

I have close friends whose long-term romantic relationships I not only admire, but also hope to one day experience. But even they, who seem to have found “the one,” recognize that true happiness comes from within and can never be filled in by another.

Relationships are an extension of our happiness and not the basis of it, so focus on strengthening the one with yourself and all of the others will follow accordingly.

How To Instantly Get More Productive and Focused

No matter what Law of Attraction goals you’ve set, there’s a good chance that you often wonder how you could be more productive.
Maybe you suffer from a mid-afternoon slump and find yourself suddenly exhausted, or perhaps you find you just can’t focus sometimes.

Of course, there are the traditional solutions like having a nap or downing a cup of coffee. However, here are healthier, quicker and more effective ways to boost your productivity and enhance your day’s output.
Here are some of the most powerful changes you can make.

Increase Exposure To Natural Light

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it can be tempting to curl up inside and close the blinds.
However, if you can bring yourself to go for regular walks and sit by your window during the daylight hours, you’ll likely notice a marked increase in your productivity. This is because natural light regulates the hormones that determine whether you feel alert and active—even if it’s not sunny outside.

Mood lamps and the artificial sunlight produced by light boxes can also help you feel more energetic and focused if you’re not able to get as much natural light as you would like.

Get Some Exercise

You already know that working out helps to enhance your cardiovascular health, but it also plays a role in improving sleep quality (which in turn influences how productive you are during the day).
For example, one recent research paper explained how those who exercise for an hour a day five days a week get more hours of sleep per night and tend to feel more rested. When you exercise, you also prompt the release of endorphins that boost your mood, and when you’re happy you’re more likely to get things done!

 

 

Set Time Limits For Tasks

No matter how much you love your life or your job, there are bound to be some things that you just don’t enjoy doing and that you tend to want to avoid. One way to get through these tasks (and get to more pleasurable activities!) is to commit to working for short bursts.

One popular approach involves 25 minutes of work and then a 5 minute break, repeated four times before a long 15 minute break is taken. This way, you know that the boring task is time-limited, and you’re more likely to be strict with yourself (rather than falling into the black hole of the Internet).
TIP: Discover more time management tips here.

Take Steps To Combat Stress

Studies show that 2 in 5 Americans report exhaustion and fatigue as a result of high stress levels, and this certainly puts a dent in productivity. Consequently, one of the smartest things you can do is evaluate and amend your strategies for dealing with stress.
Everyone has different preferences here, but there a few standard stress-busters that work well for most people.
For example, if you add 10 minutes of meditation to the daily creative visualization work you do when using the Law of Attraction, you may reduce not only stress levels but also your risk of suffering from depressing or anxiety. Meanwhile, taking up yoga is a great way to slow racing thoughts and increase physical flexibility at the same time.

Evaluate Your Diet

What you eat can also contribute to whether you have a productive day. In particular, foods with high fat content are proven to decrease energy levels and reduce resilience in the face of stress.
In contrast, high-fiber foods, fruits and vegetables are all great at keeping energy levels fairly constant. As a bonus, there is some evidence that they can improve immune system function.

Make Some Plans The Night Before

You can start your day on the right foot if you set the preconditions for productivity the previous evening.
For example, you might write out a “to do” list of tasks and stick it to the fridge or leave it on your desk so that you immediately know what you’re doing (rather than having to figure it out as you slowly wake up).
It’s often a good idea to start with a task that’s easy, then have the second task be one of the less pleasant ones so that you can spend the rest of the day on things that inspire you or that you find easier to focus on.

Don’t Work Yourself Into The Ground

Finally, there’s such an important difference between being productive and draining your resources. While it’s great to meet your goals, work hard and create a life you love, it’s impossible to really enjoy that life if you don’t take time to replenish yourself and genuinely relax.
For example, try to make sure you carve out some time per day just for pursuing a favorite hobby for its own sake, and remember that it’s okay to say “no” to extra commitments if you already have too much on your plate.
Knowing your own limits is key to long-term productivity.

20 Traits of TRUE Mental Toughness

One aspect of life that will always remain a constant is that it will always challenge you. That’s just part of the journey, friends, and if you aren’t tough – life will eat you up.

I’m not talking about being physically tough, any ogre can pull that off. I am talking about mental toughness.

The traits of your personality that afford for thicker skin and shorter memories, which in my opinion are all you need to get through this life a happy, fulfilled, and well-rounded person.

These are my personal traits of mental toughness that we should all aspire to:

1. Pick your Battles

Some things in life you’ve just got to let go. If every little stimulus gets your hackles up, then guess what: you spend your life fighting. Even if you happen to be a third-world warlord, constant conflict isn’t something that makes for a productive life.

2. Judge Not, lest you be Judged

Instead of focusing your magnifying glass on everyone in your life, why not turn it into a mirror? If you want everyone around you to let you be yourself, then let them be themselves.

3. Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

Even the mightiest people you’ve even encountered in your life all need help at some point. Superman needed Lois Lane. Batman needed Robin. Bert Needed Ernie. Let go of your pride, and ask for help when you need it.

4. Forgive

Holding on to grudges is like holding on to poison. Let it go. Forgiveness is the antidote to hate.

5. Accept Criticism

The second that you think you are above criticism is the second that you quit growing as a person. Growth comes from stripping away your personal preconceptions of yourself just like pruning a tree helps it grow.

6. Give Freely of Yourself

Life is all about give and take, and I promise you, giving is so much more fulfilling than taking. Would you rather be the source of the water, or the sponge that sucks it up?

7. Be Humble

As great as you think you are, crushing your ego is the number one way to ground yourself in reality. There is a distinct difference between being proud of an accomplishment, and thinking that you are god’s gift to humanity.

8. Quit Worrying About What is “Fair”

“Fair” is a purely conditional situation that rarely exists in life. The sooner you realize that nothing about life is “fair” the sooner you’ll readily accept whatever life throws at you.

9. Embrace Change

Change in growth, and vice versa. Trying to live in a bubble is a sign that you can’t cope with life, because one thing about life is that it will always change.

10. Be Financially Responsible

This statement in no way mean “be materialistic”. What it does mean is that in life, in modern society, we all have certain financial responsibilities. Yeah, I’d love to waste all of my money on fun gadgets and lego sets, but I have bills to pay.

11. Be patient

The old cliche that “patience is a virtue” exists because it is true. Anything worth having is worth working for and waiting for. Even diamonds take time.

12. Build Upon Yourself

Self-improvement isn’t just a section of the bookstore you may or may not venture into. No one comes into this world perfect, and therefore we must build on what we have, and become who we want to be, instead of just expecting it to happen.

13. Take Care of Yourself

Our health, both mental and physical is a constant struggle. If you are sick all of the time, how can you be expected to face whatever life throws at you?

14. Manage Your Time

Time should be considered a currency, because it is all we really have on this planet. Dedicating your time to the right pursuits is essential to maintaining a life you want to live.

15. Not Everything is a Crisis

Again, this falls somewhere between time management and picking your battles. If you consistently make mountains out of mole hills, you lose the ability to focus on what really matters in life.

16. Co-dependence is Weakness

No one in this life will get you through but you. The more you depend on “crutches” in life, the less able you are to make it through on your own. No matter how much you think someone else will be there to get you through, often the hardest struggles in life are the ones you have to take on by yourself.

17. Take Responsibility for your Life

Slinging blame around like monkey sling poop is just as effective. This is your time on this planet, so taking ownership of your actions is the only way to truly live YOUR life.

18. Perfection Doesn’t Exist

Trying to achieve perfection is about as meaningful as trying to catch water with a sieve. Your idea of “perfect” and mine, and everyone else’s for that matter, are completely different. Be happy with who you are, instead of worrying about what is acceptable to anyone else.

19. Know Yourself, Trust Yourself

I believe in this principle enough to have it tattooed on my wrist. Knowing yourself is what leads to you trusting yourself, But you cannot trust yourself without knowing yourself. It is a cycle.

20. Expect Less

You’re going to get out of life what you put in to it, and even then – sometimes you get less. Don’t expect life to give you a break, because it won’t. Instead, learn to take what you get and make the best of it.

8 Warning Signs That You Have Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can be difficult to recognize as a problem within yourself. But here are a few signs that show that you might not value yourself as you should. People with low self-esteem tend to give into arguments easily, apologize often and unnecessarily, and become easily depressed. They also don't take well to constructive criticism and can be materialistic. A low self-esteem can stop someone from living their best life because it stops them from forming meaningful relationships and making their own decisions. If you see these signs in yourself, it may be time to re-evaluate and find ways to become more self-assured.

Are you a silent, pensive person at parties, most comfortable with your own company? Others might think that you lack confidence and try to boost your morale and make you more social. However, there might be a different, more deep-rooted problem at work here, more than just low self-confidence – a low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is characterized by a persistent inferiority complex that makes you feel worthless and incompetent in every aspect of life. If you notice any of these warning signs in yourself or another person, they are an indication of low self-esteem.

1. Easily Give In To Arguments

You try to avoid conflict at all costs. Even if this means agreeing to something that you don’t necessarily believe in. As a result, you rarely get a chance to express yourself. This prevents you from building meaningful relationships as people cannot get to know who you truly are. Get over this aversion to conflict by telling yourself that your opinion is valued. Repeat this daily, and soon you will start believing it.

2. Always Have An Apology At The Tip Of Your Tongue

People suffering from a low self-esteem may believe that everything that goes wrong is because of something they’ve done. This is primarily because they are completely unaware of their self-worth. They only see their faults and not their many gifts and talents. Does this sound like something you do? The next time you find yourself apologizing, try to realize that your apology is unnecessary as you have done nothing wrong.

3. Easily Depressed

Depression most often stems from low self-esteem. People suffering from low self-esteem may not socialize, lack confidence, and rarely try something new. This makes them the perfect target for depression. If you are easily depressed, try to pick a new hobby, travel to a new place, or meet someone new. Learn to take risks every once in a while. It will pay off in the long run.

4. Highly Averse To Criticism

Do you find yourself sulking in a corner every time your boss gives you constructive criticism? Do you shed a tear or two when your mother says that some outfit looks too tight on you? If you find yourself taking constructive criticism as an insult, you might be suffering from low self-esteem. So, the next time someone criticizes you, try counting to three before responding irrationally.

5. Find Happiness In Buying New Things

Researchers found that materialism and low self-esteem have a causal relationship, especially in children and adolescents.¹ Very often, people with low self-esteem have a materialistic nature. Shopping for material possessions becomes their way of coping with low self-worth. They believe that it is these things that will contribute to their happiness and well-being. If you find yourself doing this, try to spend some time with supportive family and friends instead.

6. Over Critical, Super Negative, And Other Low Self-Esteem Signs In Men

Men and women have different signs of low self-esteem. Men who don’t have high self-esteem often try controlling other people, especially their partners. They are overly critical and put down people a lot, saying mostly negative things about everything. Also, an insecure man may feel over protective and jealous. He also keeps saying self-deprecating things.

7. Low Self-Worth, Unassertive, And Other Low Self-Esteem Signs In Women

A low self-esteem woman finds it very difficult to make decisions, instead, they like to follow someone else’s leadership. They find it daunting to speak for themselves and to give opinions. This makes it more tough for them to leave an abusive or unhealthy relationship. They are unable to say “no” because they are scared of causing conflict.

8. Avoid Challenges, Overly Sensitive, And Other Low Self-Esteem Signs In Children

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents watch how their children respond to certain situations. If kids are scared to try new tasks and avoid doing it or maybe even get frustrated in the first attempt, it could be a sign of low self-esteem. They could have mood swings showing irritation and sadness. They also withdraw themselves socially and are very sensitive to other people’s opinions. If you see these red flags in your children, it’s time to do something about it.
If you can identify with any of these warning signs, it may be a good idea to evaluate your self-esteem. When you do this, you will realize that life is great when you’re more self-assured.

5 Proven Ways to Increase Your Overall Happiness

In 2015, Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard, was declared the happiest person in the world. This was based on a study by the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience in Wisconsin, where Ricard’s scores were sometimes off the charts. Being a monk is a life calling that not many of us will pursue, and being in the “regular” world does have a different set of challenges you may argue. But surely, attaining happiness should be possible for everyone. Happiness is a state of mind so like any other state of mind, it can be adjusted. However, we get so caught up in how miserable we are, that we do not have the ability to see that being happy is as simple as – well, being happy!
Here are 5 proven ways to increase your overall happiness today:

Find your purpose and follow it

A lot of the unhappiness in our lives comes from doing what doesn’t make us happy, every single day.
This definition of insanity is very applicable here. If your work doesn’t satisfy you, if you go in there every day thinking that today will be better, then you might be an optimist. But you are also unhappy and according to Einstein, insane. Think back on what you did naturally, what you were drawn to do, when you were a young child. How did you occupy your days? Did you have a fascination with making plans and executing them? Or were you always designing something new and wonderful, or planning the next big thing that can make you money? In these juvenile past-times might lie the key to your true purpose, that one thing that you enjoy above all else. Find your purpose and follow it. It is essential to your long term emotional health.

Eliminate negativity from your life

Negativity has never harboured happiness. By listening to and participating in negative conversations, you only take on more negativity. Some people love to complain, about anything and everything. Don’t spend time with these people, they drain your energy. Surround yourself with positivity and you will also be more positive. Make it a state of mind. When a negative thought comes up, don’t entertain it. And when you catch yourself saying something negative, rephrase it to turn it around. Soon you’ll notice that the world is a much better place!

Find joy and spread it

There is joy to found everywhere around us, and often it is in the small details. Like the person who allows you cut in front of them in the traffic, or savouring that early morning coffee while everything is still quiet and calm. Learn to recognize the joy in the everyday and you will start to see it everywhere. Equally important is bringing joy to others. A small favour, or a bigger-than-accepted tip, a kind word or a compliment. The little things all add up to make life happier for yourself and for those around you.

“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness”.
Charles Spurgeon

Stop Talking and Start to Listen

We tend to spend our days spreading our opinion and trying to matter. And a lot of that conversation is in our heads. Stop the constant chatter, inside and out, find a quiet spot, and listen. The happiest people in the world are those that have learnt to listen – whether it is meditation, prayer, yoga or another practice. In the silence, that which what acclaimed life coach Martha Beck in her book, Finding Your Own North Star, calls wordlessness, we often find peace, answers and happiness.

Sleep well, eat well, live well

Your body is a very real extension of what is going on in your mind. Look after your body by feeding it the right nutrients, by getting enough sleep and by purposefully taking time for physical activities. Not everyone loves doing sports, but even playing with your kids or dogs or choosing to walk to the corner shop instead of driving will make all the difference in your mood.
With these simple tools to increase your overall happiness, go and seek out happiness all around you – because it is there!
“If you want to be happy, be.”
Leo Tolstoy

14 Warning Signs Your Adrenals are Burnt Out and What You Need to Fix Them

14 Warning Signs Your Adrenals are Burnt Out and What You Need to Fix Them

Adrenal burnout. It means your adrenal glands are overworked, resulting in low cortisol and unbalanced hormones. If you told your doctor you suspected adrenal fatigue, you’d likely be sent to an endocrinologist who may test you for Addison’s or Cushing’s diseases, relatively rare endocrine disorders that indicate very low or high cortisol (your main stress hormone) levels. The treatment is surgery and medication. That’s not what we’re talking about here.

Is Adrenal Fatigue a Hoax?

I’ve had clients say their doctors have told them adrenal fatigue is an outright hoax. Adrenal fatigue isn’t acknowledged in the conventional medical model because it is not a disease for which drugs can be prescribed, and that’s how our medical system works.

Adrenal fatigue should really be called hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis dysfunction, which is a fancy way of saying that the feedback loop between the brain and the adrenals is fried, so there is miscommunication and resistance about when and how to release stress hormones. (read more about the HPA axis here). Adrenal fatigue starts isn’t the fault of the adrenals per se; it’s a dysfunction between the brain and adrenal glands.

Your adrenals are 2 small glands that sit atop your kidneys and produce cortisol and sex hormones. In many ways the HPA axis and the adrenals are the command and control center for your body, and they help you manage your stress levels, hormone levels, thyroid function, sleep, sex drive, and metabolism. When everything is functioning normally, you have good and stable energy throughout the day, you sleep well, you have a good sex drive, and you maintain your weight.

When you encounter stress, the body reacts with a chain of hormonal events to get you ready for battle. Corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH) is released from the hypothalamus. CRH stimulates the production of adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH). ACTH stimulates the release of cortisol, the body’s main stress hormone. Cortisol keeps blood sugar and blood pressure elevated so you’re able to fight or flee and stay alive during the stressful event. This is a normal and healthy stress response.

But when you are chronically stressed and this chain of events is continuously triggered,  your cortisol stays elevated, you become eventually depleted of the hormones you need to battle the stressor. At this point you are facing burnout and may also notice anxiety and depression, as serotonin is depleted when cortisol is chronically elevated, and now there is neuroendocrine dysfunction.

Adrenal fatigue is a constellation of symptoms, such as insomnia, anxiety, fatigue, or brain fog, that disrupts your day-to-day life. These nagging issues wouldn’t send you to the hospital, maybe not even the doctor, but they are your body’s way of signaling to you that there is an imbalance. People may ignore these signs, thinking it’s part of stress or “getting old,” or they may go to a doctor who will prescribe them meds based on their symptoms: Ambien for insomnia, for example, or antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. But here again, the underlying imbalance isn’t addressed, and the problem continues until it triggers a full blown illness or disease.

When your adrenals begin to falter, you may notice

• fatigue
• weight gain
• digestive issues such as bloating, constipation, diarrhea
• sugar and/or salt cravings
• the “3pm crash”
• brain fog
• increased susceptibility to illness
• decreased ability to handle stress, feeling frazzled
• insomnia or waking around 4am, unable to get to sleep
• anxiety
• depression
• PMS/hot flashes associated with menopause
• inability to focus
• low sex drive

Causes of Adrenal Fatigue

• emotional stress. Interestingly, 95% of adrenal fatigue cases are precipitated by extreme emotional stress. That could be a death, divorce, injury, job loss, OR even positive stress like getting married or having a baby. Stress really is the main cause of imbalance in the body.
• diet. Too many processed foods, too much coffee/caffeine, irregular mealtimes, refined sugars, nutrient poor meals, not eating enough or eating foods that lack nutrients because they are processed or refined.
•  
• pain, chronic inflammation
• microbiome imbalance & digestive infections such as h pylori, dysbiosis, SIBO, candida, parasites (more common than you might think!)
• lack of sleep
• autoimmune conditions

What starts out as chronic stress is usually burning the candle at both ends: staying up all night studying (or partying), chugging coffee or sodas, working 2 jobs, working 80 hours a week, skipping meals, sleeping only 4 hours a night– or not at all. People typically feel pretty good in this stage because your body is churning out more cortisol in response to the stress to make you more alert and get you through whatever you’re doing (the fight or flight response).  

A little stress is normal and good, and we all have it. BUT it’s your body’s ability to recover that matters, and if you’re not sleeping or eating well and continue in stress mode for years, you’re headed for burnout because your body doesn’t have the chance to recuperate.

Once your body can’t keep up with your stress levels, you start to burn out. Your brain is signaling that there is a stress, but your adrenals can’t produce the required amount of cortisol to keep you going, and you start to crash. Now you’re in adrenal burnout and experiencing low cortisol. Your resources to fight the stressor have been depleted.

If you’re a woman, you may start to have irregular cycles or a worsening in PMS symptoms because your body is starting to borrow molecules of other hormones, like progesterone (one of your main female hormones), to make cortisol. Your body perceives that survival is more important than reproduction, so women notice infertility or cycle irregularities.

Your body knows a stressed environment is not ideal for creating a baby! This lack of progesterone can leave you estrogen dominant. (Read more on that here).

You may also experience symptoms of hypothyroid, such as constipation and thinning hair, because your adrenals affect your thyroid as well as your female hormones. You’re probably tired or having trouble sleeping, and you may be gaining weight (especially around the midsection) and are unable to lose it no matter what, because your metabolism has slowed due to your body being in a state of stress. A stressed body is not in fat burning mode– it’s working to conserve resources.

If you continue down this path, chugging caffeine to keep yourself going, skimping on sleep to get your work (or your partying) done, or skipping meals to prevent gaining even more weight, you’re headed for serious burnout. The kind you can no longer ignore.

At this point, your adrenals, thyroid and female hormones are imbalanced, and even though your doctor may look at you, perplexed, because your blood work came back ok, you know there’s something wrong because you’re not feeling right, you’ve gained weight, maybe have anxiety, and your hormones have gone haywire.

How to Reverse Adrenal Burn Out

• saliva testing to determine cortisol levels
• restore circadian rhythm
• SLEEP, at least 8 hours nightly. In bed by 10pm.
• eat in regular intervals to maintain stable blood sugar
• eat enough calories for healing
• eat hormone-building, nutrient dense foods and good fats
• stop chugging coffee
• support digestion with probiotic foods
• minerals and vitamin C
• adaptogenic herbs
• B vitamins
• address stress in job, relationships

The first step is saliva testing to determine what your cortisol levels look like. Some doctors may offer blood testing for cortisol, but they’re not nearly as accurate and only offer one snapshot of what your cortisol levels are doing during the day.

The saliva test requires 4 samples so you get an idea of your cortisol rhythm. They should be highest in the AM to wake you up and get you through the day, lowest at night so you drift off to sleep. If cortisol is too low, say, in the morning, you’ll be tired. If it’s too high at night, you can’t sleep. Your body is in sync with the natural rhythm of light and dark, and the closer you can re-establish that rhythm, the more you’ll heal.

The saliva testing requires 4 samples during the day to measure your cortisol rhythm, then you’ll have the information you need to repair. High cortisol is treated much differently than low cortisol, so it’s important to test and see what your rhythm looks like.

 

The second step is to combine a healing protocol with a nutrient dense diet. Make vegetables of all types the base of every meal. High quality, organic and fatty acid rich protein such as wild fish, grass fed beef, lamb, and eggs at every meal in amounts appropriate for you. Tons of mineral-rich veggies and sea veggies, because the adrenals require minerals to function.

Lots of sea salt (which is probably welcome, because you might be craving salt!); good fats like coconut oil, butter, olive oil; superfoods like bone broth, organ meats, raw kraut/probiotic foods, and organ meats.

The third step is to add specific healing supplements to your daily regiment.

Some of the supplements needed to heal adrenal fatigue are

• vitamin C
• adaptogenic herbs. I recommend GAIA, maca root, adrenatone, and/or licorice root
• minerals
• B vitamins
• blood sugar support, if needed. I like this one.
• I love Adrecore to heal adrenal fatigue and the neuroendocrine axis, especially if mood imbalances are present
• certain nutrients, like phosphatidylserine, can encourage sleep at night if cortisol is high when it should be low.
• nettles and tulsi tea

The fourth step is to restore your natural circadian rhythms, put your body on a schedule.

Wake up at the same time. Eat every 4 hours. Go to bed by 10pm or 11pm. Be sure to manage your blood sugar, because blood sugar highs or lows stress the adrenals. This means cut the refined foods, gluten, white sugar, sodas, coffee and nightly wine (sorry), and stop skipping meals.

Support digestion with probiotic foods like raw kraut or this coconut water kefir, my favorite source because you also get the benefits of coconut water along with a hefty dose of probiotics. If your digestive tract is inflamed from too much bread and sugar and wine, you won’t absorb nutrients from all the great food you’re now eating.

And, remember: your body perceives inflammation as a stressor, so an inflamed GI tract can worsen adrenal fatigue! You may want to take a probiotic supplement to support digestion.

Refined white flour and sugar jacks your blood sugar levels, which stresses the adrenals

Adaptogenic herbs like maca, rhodiola, schizandra, ashwaganda, licorice root and holy basil can really help. I have to stress that you should work with a practitioner to help you determine exactly what you need– don’t go it alone! Some of these herbs, especially if taken at the wrong times, can make you feel worse or further aggravate insomnia, for example.

The lifestyle factors are the most important.

You won’t get better if you don’t change your habits– sleep, stress, and diet.  I’ve had clients take time off work to heal because they understand their health is so important– and that they will prevent medical bills in the future (as well as the inability to work because they’re on disability with chronic fatigue syndrome).

Fix your stressful relationships, and have I mentioned? SLEEP.

Take a day per week and unplug to help calm down an overstimulated and exhausted mind and body. Click here for my sleep tips. Certain nutrients like magnesium and Seriphos (a phosphatidylserine supplement) can help bring down high cortisol at night and help you sleep if you’re having trouble. Healing your adrenals will reverse sleep issues long term, but it may take some time.

Also, stop over-exercising and find an activity that rejuvenates you, whether it’s gardening, yoga or meditation.

Testing for and correcting adrenal fatigue is an example of preventive health care. If you can reverse adrenal fatigue, it’s possible to prevent the illnesses that can be caused as a result of long-term hormone imbalance and stress. Not to mention you’ll feel better, look better, sleep better and be healthier.

Resources:
Explanation of adrenal fatigue and HPA axis
Dr Kalish video on adrenal fatigue
Our podcast on adrenal fatigue
Adrenal fatigue & thyroid connection
Adrenals & Thyroid Part 2

 

If He Goes Out Of His Way To Do These 20 Things, He’s A Guy You Should Never Lose

 

 

1. He calls you on the phone every day.

Because he wants to hear the sweet sound of your voice, and he knows you appreciate it so much more than a quick-fire text.

2. Sends you messages when you’re apart, just to let you know he’s thinking of you.

Because he genuinely is thinking of you, and wants to make sure you know how much he cares.

3. Treats you to your favorite candy bar, just because.

And we all know the power chocolate has to make our hearts happy.

4. Compliments you when you feel least attractive.

So that you know he is attracted to more than just your looks.

5. He always asks you how your day was.

Because he wasn’t there and he wants to know that you had a great one. And if you didn’t, he’ll make it his mission to turn it around.

6. Randomly reaches for your hand just so he can feel close to you.

And small, intimate gestures like this sometimes feel way better than sex.

7. Comforts you when you’re feeling down, and always manages to lift your spirits back up.

We all need someone like this in our life, so if he happens to be your partner too then you’ve lucked out.

8. Visits your family regularly (even if they don’t see eye to eye).

Because he knows how much it means to you, so he’s willing to do it despite his own possible feelings of discomfort.

9. Makes sure you’re never cold.

Even if turning the heat up makes him feel roasting hot or giving you his jacket means he’s shivering in the cold – as long as you’re taken care of, that’s all the matters.

10. Takes a genuine interest in your passions, even if he doesn’t understand them.

He actively discusses your hobbies and loves with you because he realizes they are a huge part of who you are and what makes you tick. He wants to step inside your mind, not just your body.

11. Never goes to bed without saying goodnight to you.

No matter where the two of you may be, he always says good night because he knows the little things like this are really the big things. And if he’s being honest, he can’t sleep until he’s touched bases with you to make sure you’re alright.

12. He’s always the one to apologize first when you have a fight.

Even when it’s totally not his fault. He hates arguing with you and never wants to see you upset.

13. Speaks openly with you about the future.

He’s not afraid to talk about the future and your place within it because he is 100% committed to this relationship.

14. Answers any question you ask him with honesty.

Even when he knows it’s not what you’re hoping to hear, he will be as honest as he can while doing his best not to hurt your feelings. Because he knows that in the long run, the truth is always best.

15. He makes time for you every day.

No matter how busy he might be he always allows room for quality time with you in his hectic schedule. Because everyone is busy but we make time for the things and people who are important to us.

16. Reassures you whenever you’re worried.

He knows how you tend to be over-anxious about the smallest of situations, and work yourself up to the point where you reach panic central. But he knows just what to say to calm you down and help you regain perspective.

17. Takes all of your problems on as his own.

Because the two of you are a team, and you’re only ever doing as well as the other person is.

18. Gives you your own space when you need it.

He understands you have a healthy, happy life outside of him and he recognizes the importance of alone time for you both to reflect and rejuvenate.

19. Cheers you on, no matter how small the win.

He’s the person you tell first when anything good happens to you, because you know he’s always happy and proud of every single one of your achievements.

20. Stands up for you when no one else does.

Even when you’re not around you know he’s got your back and will defend you until you give him a solid reason not to. 

The Top 5 Habits That Make You Fat

The top habits that are making you fat are: You look for the words “Low-Fat” on the label or product, You are eating right out of the package, You love artificial sweeteners, You skip meals very often and you are probably not drinking enough water. By taking action on the above, you will begin to see your weight drop, energy increase and optimal health will be yours.

Every day we all make decisions about what to eat. And these choices, can be made with every effort to prevent weight gain or other choices we make without even realizing the potential that they can wield in wreaking havoc with our weight and our health.

The Top 5 Habits That Make You Fat

 

You Look For The Words “Low-Fat” On The Label Or Product

You remember the low-fat food craze 30 some years ago? It has not left. The majority of people I see focus solely on the fat grams and/or the calories. Of course the amount of food you take in, if in excess, will lead to weight gain. But if you are hoping that low-fat will make you leaner, it won’t. 

In fact, low fat makes you fat. Why? Because most low-fat products have highly inflammatory fillers such as sugar and white flour that are metabolized quickly, creating low-level inflammation – causing a spike and drop in blood sugar and the resulting rebound hunger or cravings. Low-level inflammation creates FatFlammation – the core cause of weight gain.

You Are Eating Right Out Of The Package

If you park in front of the TV and, for example, you have a bag of healthy (or not so healthy) chips with you – stop doing that. Why? When you are distracted, your potential to not realize how much of those chips you are eating is extremely high. How many times have you had that bag in hand or any other food, and realized that it was half gone, almost gone or…gone?

The next time you want a snack while watching TV, dole out your moderate portion size and take that with you – not the bag.

You Love Artificial Sweeteners

Artificial sweeteners found in products such as diet sodas can really pack on the pounds..seems counter-intuitive doesn’t it? Research now shows that the artificial sweeteners set the brain up to expect sweet – no matter where the sweetness comes from, either artificially or natural. We are pre-wired to love sweet things and artificial sweeteners are 300 times sweeter than sugar and when we eat them, the sweetness acts upon the reward area of our brain. This triggers a vicious cycle of needing more and more artificial sweetener and/or sugar.

One study showed that drinking just one or two diet sodas a day increased the chance of becoming overweight or obese by 33%. We also know that artificial sweeteners, in particular, diet sodas, are addictive. Slowly wean yourself off of them and you will retrain your taste buds to really love the natural sweetness in healthy foods.

You Skip Meals

Many people still equate caloric intake with weight gain. The myth buster here is that it is the types of foods that you are eating and not necessarily the caloric intake that is creating weight gain.. Yes, you can eat an excessive amount of food and gain fat, but that is not the problem here. Skipping meals to reduce caloric intake is an action to take if you want to gain weight.

The reason is that your metabolism slows down to preserve vital energy simply to keep you alive. This puts your body in fat-storage mode. Studies show that those who skip breakfast? Fare the worst because they have gone all night and far into the day without eating. This creates blood sugar swings, hunger and cravings.

You Are Not Drinking Enough Water

Most people are walking around mildly dehydrated suffering symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, joint pain, hunger, cravings and more , simply because they have not had enough water to drink. Our body is mostly water and every single process in the human body requires water.

When we short our cells of hydration, we feel it. Have you ever stood in front of the refrigerator with the door open and wondered what you wanted to eat but couldn’t make your mind up? You were hungry for something, just not quite sure what it is? This is a sign you may be mildly dehydrated.
The reason this happens is because the brain confuses thirst for hunger. The cure? Drink a glass of water and wait 5 minutes..watch the ‘hunger’ or craving disappear. At a minimum, drink half your body weight in ounces each day.

If you weight 120 lbs., drink 60 ounces of water daily.
By committing and taking action on the above tips to your daily routine, you will begin to see your weight drop, energy increase and optimal health will be yours.

10 Scientific Ways To Detox From Sugar Addiction (Before It Kills You)

Want to know the truth about sugar? Well, the truth is our bodies aren’t meant to handle such extremely high levels of sugar in our diets. In fact, we are killing ourselves with an addiction – a sugar addiction.

For over 50 years, Americans have been brainwashed into believing that fat is the bad guy, when really it’s that sweet, sweet devil we call sugar. It’s sugar, not fat, that makes you sick, overweight, and irritable. In fact, sugar (in it’s many forms) is the root cause for most chronic disease in this country and the rest of the world. Think of an unpleasant or life-debilitating condition/disease.

Chances are sugar is the culprit. Heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s, type 2 diabetes, depression, acne, infertility, impotence- all sugar-related.

 

You’re probably thinking, “But I don’t consume that much sugar, I’m fine.” Sugar addiction is a sneaky trickster. You’d be surprised how much sugar is in your diet.

The average American has an intake of approximately 152 pounds of sugar a year. That’s about 22 teaspoons every single day. Children and teenagers consume roughly 34 teaspoons a day, making 1 in 4 kids pre-diabetic. The American Heart Association says you shouldn’t consume more than 37.5 grams (9 teaspoons) of sugar a day if you’re a man, or 25 grams (6 teaspoons) if you’re a woman. To give some perspective, a venti hot chocolate from Starbucks has 60 grams of sugar, a Chai latte has 52 grams of sugar, and their hot mulled fruit with grape and chai has a whopping 99 grams of sugar.

Besides sugar constantly being in your face and readily available to overload your system, it is also highly addictive. 8 times more addictive than cocaine, reports one study. Dr. Nicole Avena conducted an extensive study on the addictive properties of sugar and found some astonishing results. The test subjects were given sugar on an intermittent-feeding schedule for one month, and began to display behaviour traits associated with drug abuse. Sugar acts just like an opiate within the brain. When the test subjects stopped ingesting the sugar they were craving, they experienced the same effects as those who stopped taking addictive drugs. Withdrawals, depression, and anxiety are just a few of the responses noted by removing sugar from ones daily intake.

Okay, so now you should have an understanding of how dangerous sugar is for your brain and your body. But how do you remove the sugar from your diet without suffering these awful after-effects? Dr. Mark Hyman has some powerful suggestions to help you.

In his book, The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, he lists 10 ideas to help you kick the sugar habit.

1. Make the decision to detox

You can read as many studies as you want, and tell yourself that you know how bad sugar addiction is for your health, but until you are really ready to make some serious life changes, you will remain a slave to your addiction.

Like everything else in life, you have to want it. You have to want to defeat the cravings, you have to want to make better choices, and you have to want to do these things because you know they will undoubtedly benefit your brain and body.

2. Go cold turkey

Just like with every other sort of addiction, the most effective way of quitting something is to completely stop. No little “cheats” here and there. You must remove all sugar from your daily consumption. The idea is to reset your body’s neurotransmitters and hormones by getting rid of that one thing which is controlling them.
“Stop all forms of sugar, all flour products and all artificial sweeteners — which cause increased cravings and slow metabolism, and lead to fat storage. Also get rid of anything with trans or hydrogenated fats and MSG,” recommends Dr. Hyman.

3. Stop drinking your calories

Most of the stuff triggering our sugar addiction is found in our drinks. Liquid sugar is more harmful to your body than solid foods with sugar content. You are basically mainlining the bad stuff directly to your liver! Sweet beverages are the biggest contributor to sugar calories in our diet. That means you need to pay attention to (and remove) sodas, juices (except green veggie juice), sports drinks, energy drinks, and sweetened teas and coffees. 20 ounces of soda contains approximately 15 teaspoons of sugar; Gatorade has about 14 teaspoons in one bottle. Dr. Hyman states, “One can of soda a day increases a kid’s chance of being obese by 60% and a woman’s chance of type 2 diabetes by 80%.”

4. Start your day with protein

Eat protein at every meal- and don’t skip breakfast! The key to abolishing those cravings and balancing blood sugar and insulin levels in the body is to eat a protein-filled breakfast, and incorporate protein in all your meals. Start your day with farm fresh eggs, then use nuts, seeds, eggs, broccoli, fish, chicken or grass-fed meat with other meals. Look up foods that are high in protein, and find fun ways to add them to your diet.

5. Eat unlimited carbs, but make sure they’re the right ones

Yep, carbs can be good for you if you avoid the starchy ones. That means unlimited veggies- greens, broccoli, kale, cauliflower, collards, asparagus, mushrooms, onions, zucchini, tomatoes, fennel, eggplant, artichokes, peppers etc. are all great for detoxing your body. Avoid potatoes, sweet potatoes, winter squash, and beets for a minimum of 10 days. You will feel a surge of energy in your body, and mental clarity is noticeably improved when you remove sugar. I find that results are drastically increased when you remove grains and beans from your diet as well. Eating healthy carbs is a fail-proof way to fight sugar addiction.

6. Fight sugar with (good) fat

Fat is not your enemy, sugar is. Fat doesn’t make you fat, despite what you have been led to believe, sugar makes you fat. What fat does is make you full, it balances your blood sugar and is a necessary part of your diet to give your cells energy. Combined with protein at every meal, adding healthy fats will boost your body’s metabolism and curb those cravings! What are healthy fats? Extra virgin olive oil, avocados, coconut oil, coconut butter, nuts and seeds, and fish with high Omega 3 content.

7. Be prepared for food emergencies

When you feel your blood sugar levels start to plummet, you don’t want to be stuck in a food emergency with no options. Being hungry and needing something to boost your energy levels but not having healthy options nearby(at the airport, convenience stores, fast food joints, vending machines) can leave you feeling frustrated. More than likely, this is where those cravings will kick your butt. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have no options. You just need to prepare for those moments- for those food emergencies. Always have a healthy snack pack ready for when your body is telling you it needs something NOW. A few good tidbits to keep with you: turkey or salmon jerky, walnuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, sardines, kale chips.

8. Stop stressing and breathe

When you put your body through stress your hormones go haywire. Cortisol increases which makes you feel hungry. It also causes belly fat to be stored and can lead to type 2 diabetes. Recent studies have shown that taking deep breaths activates the vagus nerve. This activation by breathing shifts your metabolism from fat storage to fat burning, and reduces stress at the same time! All you have to do is breathe! Start by taking 5 deep breaths. Breathe in for the count of five, then exhale for the count of five. Do this 5 times. That’s all there is to it. Dr. Hyman advises doing this before every meal to see noticeable results.

9. Remove inflammatory foods

The most common sources of inflammatory foods are sugar, flour, trans fats, and food sensitivities. More often than not, gluten and dairy cause adverse reactions in people’s bodies. This is because our bodies are sensitive to what is in food, especially if we have a slight allergic reaction to it. Give up gluten and dairy products for 10 days. Will it be easy? Heck no, it’ll be one of the hardest things you will do for yourself. But after just 3 or 4 days you will notice a difference; you will have more energy, and relief from cravings, not to mention you won’t have bloating issues and your clothes will fit better.

10. Get plenty of rest

Give your body the rest it needs. When you deprive your body of a full night’s sleep, you are inadvertently affecting your hormone levels. Even just reducing your sleep time by 2 hours is enough to increase hunger hormones, decrease appetite-suppressing hormones, and causes sugar and refined carb cravings. If you don’t get enough sleep, your natural response is to give the body energy in the fastest way possible- sugar. Sleep is the best way to combat those sugar cravings in the morning.

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This isn’t going to be easy, but the rewards are definitely worth it, and following these steps will absolutely put an end to your sugar addiction.

I did a sugar and starchy-carb detox for 3 weeks. The differences I felt and noticeably saw made everything worth it. The first 3 days are the hardest, but once you get past that point you will notice the cravings start to diminish little by little. Do I still want bread, pasta, and two scoops of sugar with my coffee? Yes and no. I think I want it because it became habit, and I associated happiness and feeling full with sugar and unhealthy carbs. But I don’t really want it. I found that having a huge plate filled with veggies, wild rice, fish, seeds and nuts was way more enjoyable and beneficial to my health. After the first week, I noticed my thoughts were clearer (not as much brain fog), I became more aware of flavours, my reflexes and reactions were improved, and the best part is my clothes fit a whole lot better.

Next time you think you are needing a sweet treat, or a sugary beverage, think about what you are doing to your brain and your body, instead.