15 Uncomfortable Feelings That Indicate You Are on the Right Track 

Changing and evolving are difficult things to do. In fact, they are so difficult that doing so or even planning to do so can drum up all types of feelings that aren’t very pleasant at all.

 

1. Feeling Isolated from Others

Undergoing change at a deep and personal level is a lonely task. It’s something you must go through on your own. As a result, it is normal to feel isolated from others, and as if they couldn’t possibly understand what you are going through.

2. Having Difficulty Focusing on Tasks

Life change requires a lot of involvement and engagement on the part of your right brain. That doesn’t leave much energy left for your left brain. The left hemisphere is the side of your brain you use to perform practical tasks. The fact that you forget phone numbers and names, misplace things, or feel as if you must do everything twice to get it right is perfectly normal. It is a sign that the changes you are undergoing are deep and meaningful.

 

3. Feeling Restless and Anxious

Whether you are making a job change, a spiritual change, a relationship change, or something else, your emotions are in a continually stimulated sense. In addition to this, there is a good chance that your brain, including your imagination, is constantly in high gear. This can result in stress, which can lead to feelings of restlessness and anxiety.

4. Irritability at Those You Are Close To

If you are making or undergoing positive changes, why do you feel so irritated at the people you love? There’s a reason for these uncomfortable feelings. The people that you care about are often the reasons why you don’t change. They may unconsciously discourage you from changing out of fear of losing you, or they may simply follow the same behavior patterns that you are trying to break, e.g., financial irresponsibility. This can result in subtle resentments that can really come to the surface during this time.

5. Feeling Gripping Fear at Times

Change is frightening. Big change is terrifying. This is so true that you may find yourself in a near state of panic at times. This just means that the change you are undergoing is very real, very meaningful, and very permanent.

6. A New Tendency to Be Confrontational

Chances are, if you are taking action to grow and change, you were really dissatisfied with many aspects of your life. Now, you have decided you deserve better, not just from yourself, but also from others. Because of this, you may find yourself ‘calling people out’ in situations where you would normally let things go.

 7. Becoming More Dissatisfied

Just like you may find yourself becoming more

This one is especially true for introverts who are making life changes and taking action to grow. You are spending so much emotional energy on the changes you are making that human interaction can be a major drain. You may also have an increasing desire to spend more time in solitude meditating, writing in a journal, doing yoga, or engaging in other solitary activities to help yourself get centered.

10. Beginning to Question Your Friendships

When you make changes, you are essentially questioning your life. This includes your relationships with your friends. You may find yourself questioning whether or not you are still compatible with your friends, and whether or not your relationships with your friends are healthy ones. It may be that your changed self just needs time to adjust before you can renew old friendships, or it could be that you will see that you have friendships that are no longer sustainable. The latter can be difficult to accept, but it is still a sign that you are on the right track.

11. Feeling Intense Sadness

No major change or growth happens without loss. Sometimes the loss is more tangible, such as the loss of a job or the ending of a relationship. Other times the loss is less tangible. For example, you may have decided to drop some negative habits and behaviors, and while you know making the change is for the best, you are still sad at the loss.

12. Dreading the Future

It is completely normal to dread the future. After all, you have taken what was a known, good or bad, and turned it into an unknown. You have no idea where your new path will eventually lead. That can make the future feel like a scary place. If you feel dread, that is perfectly normal.

13. Desiring for Things to Be Like They Used to Be

Familiarity is one of the safest feelings that they are. Even negative familiarity can temporarily feel better than change. There will be points in your journey where all you want is for things to be the way they were. In addition to this, when life becomes complex and difficult, it is perfectly normal to regress a bit and seek past comforts, people, and simplicity.

14. Having Strange and Intense Dreams

Strange and intense dreams, even negative ones, are the cumulative result of new experiences, new emotions, and internal and external conflicts. They are your subconscious mind’s way of working out a lot of heavy stuff while you sleep.

15. Desiring to Cut off Romantic Relationships

Emotionally, while you are making a change, you may begin to doubt your ability to give the time and emotional effort needed to keep romantic relationships going. You may feel as if your partner deserves more, or you may also feel as if it is you that deserves more. The important thing is to not make these kinds of decisions prematurely.
As you can see, some seemingly uncomfortable feelings can actually be a sign that you are on the right track towards your life purpose. Next time when you feel lost or sad or have a strong desire to be alone, maybe it’s time to listen to your inner self to better understand what you really want.

Did you know that there are 4 basic personality types

90% of People Fall into These 4 Personality Types, According to Human Behaviour Study

Did you know that there are 4 personality types which are prevailing in our society? At least, this is what a new study suggests.

 

A recent study on human behaviours has shown that around 90% of the population can be classified into four primary personality types. The study, based in Madrid, analysed the responses of over 500 volunteers to different social situations that could lead to either clashing or collaborating with others in order to test the data, and 4 personality types prevailed.

1. Optimistic

The optimistic personality type generally has a very positive outlook on life and works well with other people in order to find solutions to a problem.
Optimistic people are generally a lot more gratuitous than others and prefer to look for the good in a situation rather than focusing on the negatives. They tend to be mentally stronger and resilient when life brings them negatives.
Optimistic people like to donate their time to others, and they are more likely to take part in charitable events and fundraisers. They take a genuine interest in others and are supportive in the endeavours of friends and family more so than other personality types. The optimist is much more forgiving and allows life to bring them difficulties because they know that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Pessimistic

Pessimists tend to focus on the negative aspects of a situation, and this has negative effects on their emotions and thoughts. They are quick to lose motivation after a failure and can often be much more self-conscious than those who are more optimistic. Pessimistic people can often feel lost and defeated when faced with a problem, and feel pity for 

themselves a lot more than others. Pessimists tend to have lower expectations so that they can somewhat decrease the anxiety of a potential negative outcome but also experience pleasant surprise when things go their way.

4. Envious

The envious is the most common of the 4 personality types, with around 30% of the test group falling into this category. This personality type is usually irrational without realising. They choose to do a task themselves because they cannot stand someone doing better than them, even if they may receive less as a result. Envious people are not necessarily driven by jealousy but more a lack of trust and an inability to cope with situations where other people achieve more than they do. This can also lead them to preventing others from succeeding.
References:

Women and People Under the Age of 35 at Greatest Risk of Anxiety

By: University of Cambridge,

Women are almost twice as likely to experience anxiety as men, according to a review of existing scientific literature, led by the University of Cambridge. The study also found that people from Western Europe and North America are more likely to suffer from anxiety than people from other cultures.

The review, published today in the journal, Brain and Behavior, also highlighted how anxiety disorders often provide a double burden on people experiencing other health-related problems, such as heart disease, cancer and even pregnancy.

Anxiety disorders, which often manifest as excessive worry, fear and a tendency to avoid potentially stressful situations including social gatherings, are some of the most common mental health problems in the Western world. The annual cost related to the disorders in the United States is estimated to be $42.3 million. In the European Union, over 60 million people are affected by anxiety disorders in a given year.

“Anxiety disorders can make life extremely difficult for some people and it is important for our health services to understand how common they are and which groups of people are at greatest risk. -Olivia Remes”

There have been many studies looking at the number of people affected by anxiety disorders and the groups that are at highest risk, and in an attempt to synthesise the various studies, National Institute for Health Research (NIHR)-funded researchers from the University of Cambridge’s Institute of Public Health carried out a global review of systematic reviews. Out of over 1,200 reviews, the researchers identified 48 reviews that matched their criteria for inclusion.

Between 1990 and 2010, the overall proportion of people affected remained largely unchanged, with around four out of every 100 experiencing anxiety. The highest proportion of people with anxiety is in North America, where almost eight out of every 100 people are affected; the proportion is lowest in East Asia, where less than three in 100 people have this mental health problem.
Women are almost twice as likely to be affected as men, and young individuals – both male and female – under 35 years of age are disproportionately affected.

The researchers also found that people with other health conditions are often far more likely to also experience anxiety disorders. For example, around one in ten adults (10.9%) with cardiovascular disease and living in Western countries are affected by generalised anxiety disorder, with women showing higher anxiety levels than men. People living with multiple sclerosis are most affected – as many as one in three patients (32%) also have an anxiety disorder.

According to first author Olivia Remes from the Department of Public Health and Primary Care at the University of Cambridge: “Anxiety disorders can make life extremely difficult for some people and it is important for our health services to understand how common they are and which groups of people are at greatest risk.

“By collecting all these data together, we see that these disorders are common across all groups, but women and young people are disproportionately affected. Also, people who have a chronic health condition are at a particular risk, adding a double burden on their lives.”

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) – which is an anxiety disorder characterized by obsessions and compulsions – was found to be a problem in pregnant women and in the period immediately after birth. In the general population, only one in a hundred people are affected by OCD, but the proportion with the disorder was double in pregnant women and slightly higher in post-partum women.

However, the analysis also showed that data on some populations was lacking or of poor quality. This was particularly true for marginalised communities, such as indigenous cultures in North America, Australia and New Zealand, and drug users, street youth and sex workers. Anxiety disorders also represent an important issue among people identifying as lesbian, gay, and bisexual; however, there are not enough studies in these populations, and those that have looked at it are of variable quality.

Dr Louise Lafortune, Senior Research Associate at the Cambridge Institute of Public Health, explains: “Anxiety disorders affect a lot of people and can lead to impairment, disability, and risk of suicide. Although many groups have examined this important topic, significant gaps in research remain.”

Professor Carol Brayne, Director of the Cambridge Institute of Public Health, adds: “Even with a reasonably large number of studies of anxiety disorder, data about marginalised groups is hard to find, and these are people who are likely to be at an even greater risk than the general population. We hope that, by identifying these gaps, future research can be directed towards these groups and include greater understanding of how such evidence can help reduce individual and population burdens.”

Reference
Remes, O et al. A systematic review of reviews on the prevalence of anxiety disorders in adult populations. Brain and Behavior; 6 June 2016; DOI: 10.1002/brb3.497
This article was first appeared on the University of Cambridge website under a Creative Commons Attribution No Derivatives license.

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Anxiety disorders are the most common group of psychiatric disorders in the general population. They are also important because of their association with significant impairment in functioning and with high direct and indirect costs. Anxiety disorders are often associated with depressive and substance use disorders and may have other complications.

These conditions are often unrecognized, misdiagnosed, or trivialized, which is unfortunate because their timely recognition and treatment are beneficial to the sufferers, their families, and society. This free chapter, from the book Stress: Concepts, Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior, provides a brief review of several disorders and includes clinical features, diagnostic issues, epidemiological data, etiological factors, and treatment option.

Top 10 Friendship Quotes

The friendships we have in our live can have a huge impact on our happiness, our fulfillment and enjoyment of life. Friends just make life oh-so-fun!Read through this top 10 list of friendship quotes and if you feel inspired send one to your friend!

1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." — C.S. Lewis

2. “There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” – Jim Henson

3. “Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life."  — Amy Poehler

4. “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”    – Albert Schweitzer

5. "A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."   ― William Shakespeare

6. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."    — Oprah Winfrey

7. "Dear George: Remember no man is a failure who has friends." — It's a Wonderful Life

8. "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself  — and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.”   ― Jim Morrison

9. "Some souls just understand each other upon meeting."   — N.R. Hart

10. "I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light."  — Helen Keller

The Key to Your Success Is In Your Fear

Have you found the key to your success yet, or are you still floundering to get where you want to be?

Have no “fear.” As it turns out, your “fear” holds the key to your success!

Fear cripples many people. It keeps them from taking chances, and it keeps them from being honest with themselves and others.

Avoiding fear is the primary reason people fail to reach their dreams. Success is in the fear, not outside of it.

Facing fears as a life strategy.

Now, although it’s more comfortable to work around our fears, facing them is a much more effective life strategy.

Fear is usually just an indication there is something you want to do that you are avoiding. Instead of running toward your dream, when we listen to our fears we hold back, clinging to irrational beliefs and limiting patterns of thought.

When we start facing our fears (rather than running from them or pretending they aren’t there), we learn BIG things about ourselves. We learn about our strength and our resolve. We learn how to let go of negative thoughts and expectations about ourselves and the world.

Even better, when we choose to face our fears, we learn that they are often irrational and a complete waste of our time. Then, we tap into the unlimited, fearless power that allows us to really go after the things we want in life.

You wouldn’t be reading this if I hadn’t faced some important fears in life.

To me, Raise Your Vibration Today represents many fears I’ve faced that used to control my life.

For example, there was a time when I wouldn’t dare share my beliefs about the Law of Attraction and spirituality, for fear of ridicule. So I was quiet about what I believed and very few people knew much about what I thought.

There was also a time when I wouldn’t dare write a blog or post videos of myself for fear of rejection. So I stayed in a “socially acceptable” career that didn’t truly represent who I was and didn’t allow me to be myself.

However, in facing these fears, and choosing to take a chance anyways, I learned that these were illusory limitations that were holding me back.

Now, these fears are no longer relevant in my life, and I speak freely. The fear of rejection and ridicule no longer dictates how I attack my website, my blog, my business or my personal life. I realize that these worries, in the end, only existed in my own mind.

Through facing these fears I’ve learned there just isn’t anyone out there who has the power to hurt me with rejection or ridicule when I stand in my own power. It was a life-changing lesson, and it only cost a little courage to receive it.

Anything that scares you has a powerful lesson for you when you face it.

Now, if something really scares me, I’ve learned it’s best just to do it anyway. Rip the bandaid off and jump in.

You may swim, or you may sink, but you’ll learn that there was nothing to fear in the end and you’ll be proud of yourself for taking a chance on you.

Living for days or decades paralyzed by irrational fear is a far worse fate than taking a chance and falling down. Creating this business has taught me I’d rather fall down every day of my life than be afraid to take a leap.

Analyze your fear and demystify it.

Now, before taking the leap, it can be helpful to analyze your fear a little bit.  Get to know it. Understand why it’s there. This understanding helps demystify your fear and helps you see clearly the limitations you are imposing on yourself.

After some thoughtful contemplation, you’ll start to see that all of the fears are just insecurities and limitations you don’t really believe in.

After all, deep down you KNOW how powerful you are. So ask yourself, why does this scare me so much?

The powerful you will know what to do with the information you uncover. You just have to be willing to face the fear and ask the question.

If there’s something you want to do in life, and you feel like you are holding back, be willing to confront your fear. Ask it why it’s there. Once you really understand your fear, you’ll be ready to tackle it head on.

Fear is just a bad dream.

On a side note, there is a lesson I learned about lucid dreaming that I believe relates very strongly to this idea of facing your fears.

For those who don’t know about lucid dreaming, it is essentially learning to become “awake” and fully conscious in your dream state. There are many techniques to help you learn how to do this, and my favorite was the book “Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming” by Stephen LaBerge.

In this book, LaBerge mentions that lucid dreaming can be effective in overcoming nightmares. He says, that when you are in a lucid dreaming state, the best course of action for nightmares is simply to walk up to the nightmare, and ask it why it is there and then ask it to leave.

Then, miraculously, it does.

I know that this strategy works, because I actually used this technique several times in my dreams to overcome scary figures and issues in my subconscious. Today, I almost never have a nightmare. I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a bad dream.

I think the same effect holds true in our waking state as it does in our dream state. It is our fear that fuels fearful situations. When we choose to face our fears, we step into something bigger, a part of us that knows that all is well, and that knows that we are indeed the creators of our own reality.

Fears are internal creations.

Anything fearful in our reality is simply a projection of the fears we hold inside. By facing those fears, we give ourselves the opportunity to unmask them as the illusions they really are.

So, if you are wanting to take a step forward toward your dream, be willing to face those fears! Remind yourself that they are simply figments of your imagination and step up to the plate.

Tell people how you really feel. Take the mask off and be the real you. Jump off the ledge on a leap of faith.

Get more comfortable with the idea of staring your fears down, rather than running from them. After all, they’re illusions created from your own mind, and nothing more.

The key to your success lies in within your fears.    

Face them, and move forward into your pleasant dreams!

10 Bad Habits That Drain Your Energy and How to Quit Them

Do you feel constantly exhausted and worn-out and don’t understand why? The reason is that we tend to maintain habits that drain our energy, and we don’t know how to avoid them. But the solution is very easy — it only takes the will to do it.
Today we bring you 10 things that steal your energy and the solutions to each of them, proposed by the Dalai Lama.

1. Keep your promises

Don’t make promises you can’t keep. In an effort to be nice, you will end up destroying your good name. So if you make a promise, stick with it!

2. Stay away from toxic people

Many times, through wanting to help people, we end up receiving complaints and negative energy from others. Surround yourself with positive people, and avoid the toxic ones.

3. Pay your bills on time

“Don’t owe anyone anything” should be your life motto. Always pay back your debts on time. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

4. Learn to forgive

If we choose to live with unforgiveness, we choose to suffer. Instead of poisoning yourself with hatred, choose to forgive and move on, whether or not someone deserves your forgiveness. Do it to give yourself peace. You’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off your chest.

5. Focus on doing what you like

Sometimes we need to do things we don’t enjoy, but, when possible, delegate the tasks you don’t like doing and focus on what you are passionate about.

6. A time for every purpose

There’s time to rest and time to act. Both are equally important and necessary in your life. Do not forget it.

7. Don’t clutter…renew!

If you want to let your life flow, don’t get stuck. Start by rearranging your bedroom or renovating your closet. Your home is a reflection of your energy, and clutter blocks its natural flow. So if you want to clear your mind, start by clearing out the clutter in your space.

8. Face adversity

Do not hide from confrontations. If something bothers you, express it and cut it out of your life. Do not wait for the solution to fall from the sky. It’s often right here — you just have to look around.

9. Keep an eye on your health

Even the most brilliant mind can’t do without good health. Those who take care of both their physical and mental health needs are much happier. Spend enough time taking care of your body.

10. Let your life flow

You are a part of everything, and everything is part of you. Stop fighting with life, accept it, and let yourself be carried away by the flow. Just remember that you are the one who navigates the boat.

If You Can Say Any of These 7 Things About Your Partner, You Should Never Let Them Go

If You Can Say Any of These 7 Things About Your Partner, You Should Never Let Them Go

Up until recently, I would have told you that this idea of "the one" that has been perpetuated by so many people for so long, is pretty much total crap.
After dating a handful of women, I found myself wishing that I could just find the right one. The one that was going to be my adventure buddy.

The one that had my best interests in mind at all times. The one that I was proud to show off and be supportive of, because she did the same for me.
Searching for this person is one of the craziest journeys you will ever find yourself on, but it's one in which you grow and learn a great deal about who you are and what you really need in a partner.
Here are seven signs that you've found the perfect partner:


They supports you and your endeavors
A good partner is one who is going to help you navigate the difficult nature of life.
Many people still believe today that every man needs a strong woman to bring direction and a greater purpose to his life.
Without that better half, men lose out on the wisdom that they brings with her.


You think they're the most beautiful person you've ever seen
Undoubtedly, it is true that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
Attraction is one of the most complex and multifaceted aspects of human nature, so it's really quite magical when two people come together on that level.
If you can't think of a more beautiful partner to fall in love with and commit yourself to, you've likely found the one.
Of course, there are other things we value over beauty, but that doesn't mean it's not important!


They're kind and compassionate
This one should probably be expected. The partner in your life should be kind and loving, especially towards you.
She's the one who is always looking out for you and your well-being. As Neil Young sings, "I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold."


They can compromise
Being stubborn and difficult is the easy thing to do. It's hard to negotiate a fair compromise with someone.
If your partner is always ready to strike a deal with you so that both of you can get something you want, it's a good sign that you've found the foundation for a successful relationship.


They lets you know when you're wrong
Sometimes your partner needs to call you out on your poor behaviors and habits.
Not to mention, many men have a great tendency to make the completely wrong decision. If your partner is one who isn't afraid to tell you when you need to get your act together, that's a sign of love. She wants you at your best.


They have passion
Passion is that thing that almost everyone in life is searching for.
A passionate partner brings with her an opportunity to express your own passion.
When the two of you can share your passions and bring them together in harmony, it's truly something special.

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You're not about to let them go, regardless of what happens
Falling head over heals in love with someone isn't an experience that always comes with an explanation.
But, that shouldn't stop you. If you're in love with this partner and feel as if your life isn't whole without her, then don't ever let her go.
It's easy to take your partner for granted, especially as time passes.
Don't ever forget how much she means to you, because if you ever have to make the decision to let her go, she may never come back.

A Japanese Technique for Overcoming Laziness

Almost all of us periodically sets ourselves a new goal or challenge — and just as often in the end fails to achieve them. We end up telling ourselves that we’re just not ready yet, that we’ll do it next week, next month…next year.
We might even pursue them with zeal at the start. But once we’ve made a small amount of effort, we’ll tell ourselves we’ve done enough, and it’s time to take this whole ‘starting a new life’ thing more slowly.
Why does it always turn out like this? The answer’s fairly obvious: Because we try to achieve too much, too fast; because we get sick of the new responsibility; because it’s difficult to change old habits and try something new.

Kaizen, Or The One-Minute Principle

In Japanese culture there exists the practice of Kaizen, which includes the idea of the ’one-minute principle’ for self-improvement. At the heart of this method is the idea that a person should practice doing something for a single minute, every day at the same time. Clearly, it shouldn’t be any trouble for absolutely anyone — even the laziest person — to carry out a given task for such a small amount of time. Whereas you will more often than not find an excuse not to do something when faced with carrying it out for half an hour or an hour a day, you should be able to do without any misgivings for just 60 seconds.

Whether it’s doing press-ups or reading a book in a foreign language, in this case the task before you won’t seem like something unpleasant which you have to get through, but will instead be an activity which brings you joy and satisfaction. In taking one little step at a time, you’ll will move on to the path of self-perfection and achieve great results.

It’s important to overcome that lack of confidence you might have in your own abilities, as well as free yourself from those feelings of guilt and helplessness. You need to experience a sense of victory and success to move forward. When you’re inspired by such feelings, you will gradually begin to increase the amount of time you spend doing the task which you have set yourself — maybe at first just for five minutes more, but then this will soon turn into half an hour, and then even longer after that. 

In this way, the one-minute principle lets you see the progress you’re making right before your eyes.

Kaizen originated in Japan. The word itself contains two roots — ‘kai’ (change) and ‘zen’ (wisdom). It was invented by Masaaki Imai, who believes this philosophy can can be applied just as successfully to the world of business as it can be to one’s personal life.

At first glance, this practice might seem doubtful and ineffective for people who have grown up in Western culture, with its emphasis on the idea that results can be achieved only by undertaking immense efforts.

 But elaborate, challenging programmes of self-improvement which deprive a person of huge amounts of energy can simply end up exhausting him, and leave no tangible results, whereas Kaizan is something that anyone can attempt in virtually any sphere of their life. In Japan for example, it is often applied to improve management techniques.

All you have to do is understand what it is you want to achieve, and you’re already set to go.

8 Tips to Mastering Body Language that will Win Anyone Over

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was from an old sales manager of mine who said, “It’s not just about what you say, but HOW you say it.” You can be the most educated person in a room but if you come off like a robot, people won’t listen to you. Effective communication is all about influence, whether you are speaking to a crowd, someone you just met, or someone you speak to every single day. There are some key elements to managing your body language that can really open people up to you and what you are saying. It’s like the difference between someone hearing you and captivating someone. Here are 8 ways to increase your influence over your audience with effective body language:

Straight not Rigid

Posture is one of the first things people notice about you. The key here is to stand tall, without appearing rigid. You’re exuding confidence and strength, not standing at attention for a military-grade inspection. If you appear weak with your shoulders hunched and stooped over, people are going to sense weakness. If you walk around like you have a rod in your spine people are going to perceive arrogance. So stand up straight. relax your shoulders, and hold that head high.

Handshake Etiquite

I am a Texan, so handshakes are kind of a big deal to me. I was taught from a young age that the first thing you do when you introduce yourself to someone is shake their hand. Handshakes are not meant to be a battle of wills. You’re not trying to crush the hand of the other person, although there are specific times when a firmer than normal handshake is required. For instance, the first time you meet a boy who is going to take your daughter on a date. In normal, more civil, circumstances you want your handshake to be firm, but not crushing. A lot can be said in a simple handshake, so make sure you are putting out the message that you want to be heard.

Position Your Body Accordingly

Your stance is extremely important to setting the mood of a conversation. Opening your stance to the person you are talking to gives off a sense of vulnerability to them. This makes you seem more approachable and personable. If your hips are off center, or you are turned even slightly to the side, you give off an impression of being shut off or defensive. Keep both of these things in mind when you are talking to someone, because both stances have good, practical applications.

Don’t be a Leaner

One bad habit of mine that I had to break was the tendency to lean on things when speaking to people. The simple act of leaning back against a wall or putting a hand on a wall can make you appear too casual. Again, this kind of goes back to the posture thing. You have to send a message with your entire body, and if that message is “I can’t even stand up on my own,” people aren’t going to listen.

Pay Attention to your Neutral Face

I have a serious problem with “resting bitchface syndrome” (RBFS). I don’t mean to look mean, I just always seem like I am scowling. I remember one time in my old office where I saw a woman walking down the hall who I’d see a couple of times a week. On this particular day, we happened to strike up a conversation, and she said: “you’re so nice, I always thought you were mean.” I asked why she thought that, and she said I just looked mean. It never occurred to me that my RBFS gave off that impression, so I’ve always made it a point to smile at people when I see them, so they don’t get the wrong impression.

Constructive Eye Contact

Eye contact is probably the most important aspect of body language that people mess up. If you are talking to someone and your eyes are shifty, it seems like you are being deceptive or aloof. Then again, if you intensely glare into someone’s eyes the entire time you are talking to someone, you might give off a serious serial killer vibe. Find that happy medium between intensity and diversion so that when you make eye contact throughout your interaction it puts weight behind what you are saying.

Match their Body Language

One important aspect of body language in a conversation is to pay attention to the other person’s body language as much as you pay attention to yours. One technique that works if to mirror what they do. If they cross their arms, cross yours. Use their body language to steer yours. Again, this makes someone take notice of your body language and allows you to change theirs by changing yours. I honestly recommend consciously trying this one just to see how well it works.

7 Important Life Lessons You’ll Learn the Hard Way but Need Now

How’s life going, smooth sailing, right?
Well, of course there are a few hiccups every now and then.
But when something comes up isn’t it so much easier to learn from someone else’s mistakes, especially when they point them out for you.

It’s way better than trying to figure things out on your own, making the same cycle of mistakes until you finally learn the hard way.
But unfortunately you don’t have it that easy. At least not with the most important parts.
Sure you’ll go to school for a number of decades and learn scores of helpful information. But none of it will teach you how to live a happy and successful life.

Trigonometry and chemistry will seem simple when compared to having to navigate your way through life. They don’t teach you that in school. They leave the really hard stuff for you to sort out.
Not to say that reading and writing along with math and science isn’t important, just that finding your path and being happy in your everyday life is just as important. Just because it wasn’t in a textbook doesn’t mean you don’t need it.

The fact of the matter is you don’t stop learning. You become a student of life.  And in order to get to where you want to be in a timely manner you have to be a quick learner, or have one hell of a cheat sheet.


Life Lessons                    
Life lessons are among the most important things that you’ll learn after completing your academic career. They teach you something that forever changes how you handle things from that point on.
They’re important because identifying and learning them can be the difference between being stuck in the same place for eternity or moving forward effectively and making progress.
I think it’s safe to say we’d all rather move on and find happiness rather than spin our wheels in the same place of misery forever.
The only issue is, how do you learn the stuff you don’t know you need or you don’t know is important beforehand.
There isn’t any class that teaches you all about the important, hard life lessons. You end up stumbling on to them at different parts in your life.
Some of them even take decades to grasp and learn.
If you’re lucky you might get a heads up from grandpa about one or two. But chances are he’s going to tell you when you’re a little too young to understand. So it falls on deaf ears.
By the time you put two and two together, you’re already stuck.
Most people end up learning important life lessons the hard way, so they allow everyone else to do the same.
But that ends here because there’s really no point in you suffering through the same process everyone else did.


Getting a Head of the Curve
Your outcome is going to be very different from theirs because you will walk through life knowing what it took others much of their life to gain.
You’re going to have the advantage of wisdom before having the experience. Typically you gain the wisdom after having the experience. Now, just think of what you’ll gain from being knowledgeable going into it.
You’ll completely avoid the series of mistakes and setbacks that take place before you actually learn, not to mention the frustration and drama that comes along with it.
You’ll be one smart cookie. You’ll know exactly what to do and what to take from the experience, making it easier to succeed and navigate your way to happiness.
So let’s skip all the drama.

1. Forgiveness is all about you

Holding on to a grudge may seem like you’re punishing someone for hurting you, but you’re doing more harm to yourself. As long as you’re focused on this you can’t truly be happy.
While forgiving them may seem like letting them get off easy, because the grudge hinders you more than it hurts them, you’re actually not. In fact, it has nothing to do with them.
You’re actually letting go of the past so that you can focus on your present and future. Let karma take care of them.

2. Perseverance equals success

You can accomplish a lot by trying.
Trying to do something is usually the hardest part. And if you keep going on you will be surprised by the results.
You can’t lose if you refuse to give up.

3. No one else can make you happy

Hollywood portrays these romantic stories about how someone else can change the whole disposition of your life but that’s not realistic.
Other people cannot focus solely on your happiness. They have other things that they’d like to accomplish too.
Being happy is your responsibility. No one else can do that for you.
Besides, you’re the only one who truly knows what makes you happy anyway.

4. You don’t have all the time in the world

Whoever said it’s never too late probably didn’t own a watch or work according to a deadline.  Time is unlimited but uncontrollable so you can run out of it.
Don’t waste your time today thinking that you’ll always have tomorrow. You’ll just be prolonging your own misery.
If there is something you want to do or goal you want to achieve start now. Stop putting things off.
You don’t want to wake up 15-20 years from now realizing how you wasted your time and evaded your happiness.

5. You can’t succeed without failing

Many people take failure as a sign that they should give up. But the fact of the matter is having some type of setback is just part of the process.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re heading down the wrong path.
Instead of throwing in the towel, try to learn something from your mistake and then take another stab at it.
Think of each failure as a way to perfect your path to success.

6. Worrying is a waste of time

Worrying is an odd emotion because it stirs up anxiety and frustration without any benefits.
It makes you uneasy and clouds your thoughts. If you find yourself worrying about something figure out a way to prevent or handle the situation, focus on a solution instead.
If there’s nothing you can do, change your focus. There’s no point in keeping yourself in that state of mind.

7. You only know what you know

Many people will make it seem like you need to be an expert at something before you can do it. But they’re wrong.
Don’t get caught up in information overload, it’ll stop you in your tracks.
It’s impossible to know everything. So you can’t wait until you’re a full-fledged expert before you take action.  That’s just another form of procrastination.
Accept that there will be some things that you’ll have to learn along the way, and that’s perfectly fine.

Use it Now
After many, many years of school you still won’t know it all but you don’t have to spend your entire life trying to figure things out.
Sure there will be a few more things you’ll pick up along the way but it will be incredibly helpful to know the important stuff beforehand.
Maneuvering through life’s challenges will be simpler for you now because you already have the important lessons and just need to apply the knowledge.
Today you are that much closer to happiness and success because you’ve learned the lessons of academics and life.
What lesson could you apply now?

20 Utterly Profound Winnie-the-Pooh Quotes To Make You Smile

Perhaps we adults need to revisit the realms of children’s literature, TV and film once in a while because there is a surprising amount of wisdom to be gleaned from them.

Author A.A. Milne created some of the most thoughtful and profound characters when he penned his Winne-the-Pooh novels and many of the quotes that were born from it have life lessons we can all learn from.

Some of these, and others from the subsequent animated adaptations, can be found below. As soon as you start reading them, you’ll be blown away by how deep and full of meaning they are.

If you are a parent, perhaps you should consider tracking down the books, TV series, and movies to introduce your children to the wonders of this bear in the forest.

On love:

“How do you spell ‘love’?” – Piglet
“You don’t spell it…you feel it.” – Pooh

On trusting your ability to deal with anything:

Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

On the importance of the little things:

Sometimes, said Pooh, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

On being present:

“What day is it?”
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.

On the futility of worry:

“Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?”
“Supposing it didn’t,” said Pooh after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.

On knowing by simply being:

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.

On individuality:

The things that make me different are the things that make me.

On the difference between knowledge and understanding:

“Rabbit’s clever,” said Pooh thoughtfully.
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit’s clever.”
“And he has Brain.”
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit has Brain.”
There was a long silence.
“I suppose,” said Pooh, “that that’s why he never understands anything.”

On knowing that you don’t need anybody else to complete you:

I was walking along looking for somebody, and then suddenly I wasn’t anymore.

On self-sacrifice:

Love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more…to give way to the happiness of the person you love.

On gratitude:

Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.

On comfort zones:

You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

On not overthinking:

Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits…

On unselfishness:

A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.

On the wealth in your life:

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

On clearing your mind of all thoughts:

Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.

On the value of dreams:

I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.

On the benefits of not micromanaging everything:

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that one is always having surprising discoveries.

On the beauty within the arts:

But it isn’t easy, said Pooh. Because poetry and hums aren’t things which you get, they’re things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you.

On finding joy in everything:

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.

10 Things Strong Mothers Teach Their Daughters

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take,” wrote Cardinal Mermillod.

It’s impossible to overestimate the impact a mother’s love can have on her children. In a thousand ways, she makes them who they are. Are you lucky enough to have a very strong mother, or to be one?

If so, you likely recognize these ten lessons:

1. Happiness isn’t something we find. It’s something we create.

A happy life does not construct itself. It takes hard work and perseverance. It takes the courage to find the good in seemingly hopeless situations. A daughter who watches her mother build a happy life will have the blueprint for creating her own someday.

2. It’s okay to lean on others.

A strong mother never makes her daughter feel bad for needing help. This allows her to grow into an adult who is not afraid to ask for it. We all need support sometimes. There’s no shame in being human.

3. They show them how to parent with kindness and consistency.

Children learn by example, and it’s amazing what they soak up without consciously trying. For this reason, most of us have the natural inclination to revert to our own mothers’ parenting tactics as adults. A strong mother can trust that, when this happens, it will be a helpful nudge in the right direction, rather than a bad instinct her daughter has to fight against.

4. Have faith. Things will work out in the end.

A daughter who watches her mother react to struggles with patience and faith learns to do the same. A strong mother gives her daughter something to lean on – religion, philosophy, spirituality, or a simple sense of trust in the universe – and teaches her to use it.

5. Forget about “what could have been.”

If it mattered, it would be called “what is.” Strong mothers teach their daughters to find happiness in the present moment, rather than pining for lost possibilities.

6. Being a woman is not easy.

Our world is unfair to women in thousands of different ways. A strong mother teaches her daughter how to navigate the challenges of womanhood with dignity, grace, and integrity. More importantly, she teaches her sons to be the kind of men who value and respect women.

7. Strength and softness can – and should – coexist.

A woman’s emotional intelligence and capacity for empathy is not a weakness. It is a strength. It does not negate her ability to face challenges and overcome obstacles. In fact, it enhances it.
4 Ways a Father Can Raise a Strong Daughter

8. The most important person you can build a relationship with is yourself.

Strong women make it a priority to love themselves. This is hard work. The world does not make it easy. However, a strong mother realizes that it is not only herself she’s doing this for. She is teaching her daughter to do the same.

9. You are enough.

A strong mother realizes that her daughter does not need a man to be complete. She’s enough just as she is. Love is a wonderful thing, but it can be found in a million places that don’t involve marriage.

10. Unconditional love is real, and it is powerful.

This can only be taught by example. When a mother loves her children without condition, she gives them the most valuable gift in the world.

“My mother wanted me to be her wings, to fly as she never quite had the courage to do. I love her for that. I love the fact that she wanted to give birth to her own wings,” explained Erica Jong. A truly strong mother gives her daughter strength that she, herself, never thought possible. She raises a woman who can fly higher than she ever could. It becomes the greatest joy of her life to watch her soar.

5 Ways Geniuses Think Differently from Everyone Else

Geniuses may have more gray matter than the rest of us.

However, what really makes geniuses different from the average person is not so much what they think, but the way they think. By following the thinking strategies of the greatest minds, we too could have moments of creative inspiration.

In his article on how geniuses think, Michael Michalko outlines several specific strategies that great minds follow. These strategies have been used by creative geniuses in all fields from science to art to industry.

Here are brief outlines of 5 of these strategies.

1. GENIUSES LOOK AT PROBLEMS IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.

In general, the approach of geniuses towards problems tends to be a little different from the rest of us. Most of us tend to stop thinking once we have a reasonable idea, and abandon any ideas that seem too difficult or impractical. However, geniuses do things differently. They don’t stop at an initial idea but keep searching for different ways of arriving at a solution. Also, they don’t edit their initial ideas and discard them as impractical or too difficult.

2. GENIUSES MAKE THEIR THOUGHTS VISIBLE.

Great thinkers tend to focus on visual and spatial abilities. Michalko points out that ‘Galileo revolutionized science by making his thoughts visible with diagrams, maps, and drawings while his contemporaries used conventional mathematical and verbal approaches.’ There are many ways to approach this way of problem-solving. We might create a mind-map or a mood board to get our thoughts on paper in a visual way.

3. GENIUSES PRODUCE.

Geniuses make a lot of things, but they don’t always make a lot of great things. They fail a lot. The classic example is  Thomas Edison who failed many times at inventing the light bulb before his eventual world-changing success.

Sometimes our fear of getting something wrong can inhibit our creativity, so give yourself permission to do something badly. Make a bad picture, write a bad draft or a rubbish business plan, and then another and another. The more you produce, the more likely you are to produce something great.

4. GENIUSES FORCE RELATIONSHIPS.

Geniuses are able to see the connection in apparently unconnected ideas or subjects. Many creativity tests use this idea by giving people an object, such as a brick, and asking them to come up with as many ways as possible to use it. The first few ideas are usually pretty conventional, but the more we are forced to think of new ideas the more creative our solutions become. This can be a great way of practicing creative thinking.

5. GENIUSES THINK METAPHORICALLY.

According to Michalko, Aristotle considered metaphor a sign of genius. He believed that the individual who had the capacity to see similarities between two separate areas of existence and link them together was a person of special gifts.

Again, we can use this to help our own creative endeavors by looking for the connections between disparate ideas or objects when we are trying to produce something new. Michalko uses the example of Edison, who invented the phonograph after developing an analogy between a toy funnel and the motions of a paper man and sound vibrations.

These five strategies might not turn us into a da Vinci or Leonardo overnight. However, these strategies provide proven ways to stretch our thinking. Using them gives us a better shot at coming up with something that is truly innovative and original.

Harvard Psychologist Reveals A Unique Strategy For Dealing With Anxiety

Technically, an exercise like this is known as “self-affirmation” and recent studies have actually shown it to have a profound impact on confidence and motivation

In one recent study at the University of California at Los Angeles and the University of California at Santa Barbara, students were put under stressful situations to test how they could cope with them. The study shows that the students who practiced self-affirmation prior to the tests all performed better and were under less stress than the students who did not.

In other words, simply reflecting on who you are and what you care about may be enough to buffer the effects of a highly stressful experience.
According to Cuddy, self-affirmation is “a way of grounding ourselves in the truth of our own stories. It makes us feel less dependent on the approval of others and even comfortable with their disapproval if that’s what we get.”

Realizing and reflecting upon our own values can actually put us at ease in stressful situations, and help us overcome anxiety so we can achieve our goals.
The following is an interesting TED Talk that Cuddy gave in 2012 about the importance of body language and its relation to confidence.
Please share this information with your family and friends. Anxiety is something everyone suffers from at one stage or another so it’s essential we help eachother as much as we can.

One of the most interesting strategies requires a quick exercise in which the person experiencing anxiety takes a few minutes to write down a core value that is meaningful to them, and a time in their life or an experience that made them feel this way. This task seems strange and unrelated to anxiety, however, according to Cuddy, this will empower the individual and bring them motivation which can conquer their fears.

Psychology: The Meaning Behind Your Doodles

1. Boxes: desire to be constructive (synonyms: helpful, effective, practical, useful, positive)
2. 3-D Boxes: ability to see all sides of an issue
3. Triangles: one who’s mind is logical/rational, desire to see things come to a head
4. Arrows: feelings of ambition, drive, motivation
5. Aimless lines that form no shape or go in all directions: feeling undirected, without structure/purpose, irritated, frustrated
6. Stars: feelings of hopelessness, looking forward or up to things, and optimism

1. Circles: feeling passive rather than aggressive, circles are associated with sociable, talkative, and friendly, desire to be flexible and loving
2. Hearts: one who has love on their mind in most cases (obviously)
3. Flowers: flowers represent the feminine side of ourselves, a desire to see growth, nature, and reproduction 

1. Several Flowers in Order: desire to see sense of family/togetherness
2. Food: need for love, desire to be filled up, of course it might indicate hunger/thirst
3. Animals: one who is sensitive to living creatures, the type of animal is a great deal about the mood of the doodler and often the type that the person wants to be (ex: tiger means desire to be courageous, snake means sneaky),
4. Small Animals: slowness, lack of self-confidence, more introverted tendencies
5. Aggressive Animals: feeling assertive (synonyms: agressive, confident, demanding, leader, strong-willed)

1. Fun-loving Animals: one who is playful
2. Animals that move quickly: desire to get away quickly
3. Transportation Methods: -Doodles of cars, trains, boats, wagons, buses…etc., means desire to get away quickly or to reach a goal, often people who are bored with their jobs draw these
4. Houses: a warm inviting house is when one is happy with his homelife, a hazardous house is when one has negative feelings towards it
5. Tree: a tree represents our egos and our ambitions. A healthy tree (large, robust, strong, balanced, full, alive) indicates love, sex, children together. bare, droopy branches indicates depression, lack of fighting spirit.

1. People:

• Not Drawing Hands: the feeling of not being able to do things
• Not Drawing Feet: feeling of not belonging anywhere, as if you have no roots
• Face: missing parts of the face is one who feels not whole, faceless, and feeling lack
• Only Drawing the Profile (side of the face): one who doesn’t like the way they look, or feeling like you can’t draw well
• Only drawing eyes: feelings of suspicion, cautious, careful, as if you need to have eyes on all parts of your head
• Ears Only: feeling that you have to listen too much from someone.

1. People who shade: are sensual (desire to please/excite your senses)
2. People who shade in existing letters: unexpressed sensuality, feeling like setting limits to oneself, not feeling adventurous/creative at the moment
3. Doodling on one’s body and/or getting tattoos: not wanting to be mainstream; needing to flaunt one’s individuality, if it’s overdone - it indicates desire to self-destruct
4. Doodle on buildings (walls), books, schoolwork…etc: antisocial feelings and behavior, desperate need to be seen and heard

1. Constantly doodling the same image over & over: feeling like one has no artistic talent
2. Doodling on whatever paper happens to be around: are people who get bored easily
3. People who like to doodle in their spare time: usually indicates artistic ability, otherwise -one who thinks that they have artistic ability
4. People who rarely/never doodle: usually express themselves through words rather than images

Source: “Handwriting Analysis; Putting It To Work For You” By Andrea McNicole

25 Adult Milestones That Aren’t Marriage

 Marriage is a wonderful thing. However, it is not the gateway to adulthood that many seem to take it for. People are getting married later than ever. Many of us will find ourselves, build a life, and create our own happiness before finding it with someone else. We will reach true adulthood long before we have a ring on our finger.

SO – WHAT ARE SOME OTHER MILESTONES TO INDICATE YOU’RE A REAL GROWN UP?

 

Here are 25 things that are even more grown up than getting married:

1. You are no longer on your parents’ cell phone plan.

2. You travel to a new city that you’ve always wanted to explore. You plan and pay for the trip yourself.

3. You work out and eat healthy food because you love your body, not because you hate it.

4. You have a 401k. You look forward to retirement.

5. You are secure in your life path. When a friend hits a major milestone, you no longer feel jealous or insecure. Instead, you are truly happy for them.

6. You say “I love you” without needing to hear it back.

7. You know what a deductible is. More importantly, you know what your deductible is.

8. You host a dinner party – in your home – with food you cooked yourself.

9. You have learned to dance the fine line between treating yourself and spending foolishly.

10. You have purchased furniture from a place that is not Craigslist or Ikea.

11. You’ve declined a marriage proposal that didn’t feel right.

12. You vote.

13. You can change a tire by yourself.

14. You have well developed and thoughtfully nuanced political opinions.

15. You make your own doctor and dentist appointments.

16. You buy your own plane ticket home.

17. You have quit a job that wasn’t right for you.

18. You have your own health and car insurance. You understand your coverage on each.

19. You discover a book that you can confidently and unequivocally name as your favorite. It changed your life!

20. You have moved to a town where you knew nobody. You created your own support network there.

21. You have written and delivered a fantastic speech.

22. You treat your parents to dinner once in awhile.

23. You have asked for a pay raise at work.

24. Your spiritual beliefs are entirely your own. They are a meaningful part of your daily life.

25. You donate to charity.

“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.,” wrote Maya Angelou.

Adulthood is not necessarily about starting a family. It is about becoming yourself and giving back to society. Consider the milestones above, and ask yourself: Are you just aging, or are you growing up?