The 5 Major Mind Traps that Hinder Happiness
These roadblocks keep us stuck in
the depression loop: caught up in negative thoughts, feelings, and
behaviors as the brain anxiously rehashes past events and simultaneously
rehearses a hopeless, catastrophic future. Here are some ways to avoid
falling into these traps.
By
Elisha Goldstein
These voices keep
us stuck in the depression loop. One of the keys to cultivating an
antidepressant brain is realizing you are not these thoughts or the
stories they tell. Here are some ways to avoid falling into these traps.
Doubt
Whenever you hear advice about how to work with challenges
you have, you might notice the voice of doubt: “This might work for
some people, but it’s probably not going to work for me.” The motive of
this voice is to keep us safe from failure or disappointment, but
ultimately it keeps us away from new experiences that can be supportive.
Emptiness
Longing to be elsewhere, our minds settle on the belief
that the current moment is never enough, we’re not enough, or we can’t
do enough, it’s all so empty. The problem with this kind of thinking:
When the awaited event does occur, happiness may not come with it. This
motive of trying to fix the current moment leaves you in a perpetual
cycle of dissatisfaction.
By focusing on the idea that you’re not where you “should
be,” your brain is constantly reinforcing the message that something is
wrong with you, which then highlights a gap of deficiency that only
grows wider as it tries harder. The root problem is not what you don’t
have, but the fact that you really don’t feel whole or complete.
Irritation
Someone might be walking down the hallway at work humming
his favorite tune, and thoughts come up: “Does he think everyone wants
to hear him? Uh, what is he so happy about anyway?”
Meanwhile, who’s suffering? We’re the ones in pain, but
our brains think if we project our irritation onto another person, we’ll
find relief from the pain. If these voices continue to come up in our
relationships and aren’t discussed, the feelings turn into resentment
that inevitably eats away at the relationship like a cancer. But voices
of irritation can alert us that something isn’t right and, with
awareness, we can use this information to be constructive.
Sluggishness
Have you ever had the idea to do something that’s good for
you—hang out with friends, exercise, meditate—but you hear this voice:
“I want to do it, but I’m too tired. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
If we’re actually tired—maybe we haven’t slept enough or
had an exceptionally taxing day—we need to listen to our bodies and
rest. At other times, these sluggish voices are just another sign we’re
avoiding being with ourselves because we fear that it will be
uncomfortable. If we can recognize it, we can face it and when we can
face it, we can work with it and break free.
Restlessness
These days our brains are being trained to be noisier,
busier, and more distracted. You’re sitting alone waiting for a drink.
Your eye catches your phone: “I wonder if I received any new messages.
Nope, not one since a minute ago. What about Facebook, anything there?
Some new updates, not that interesting. Twitter? Ah, that’s an
interesting tweet. I wonder when the drink is going to come?”
When there’s a space empty of doing, restless voices rise
up. We feel compelled to fill the spaces, but we don’t realize that in
these empty spaces, we have a choice between doing and being; it’s where
possibility and opportunity emerge, and where there is a chance to make
changes for the better.
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