Beating Depression

5 Steps To Stop Fear In Its Tracks

By Erin Matlock, Founder      Brain Pages

Erin Writes:   

I rarely write publicly of my struggles with severe depression and anxiety. For several years, I have been answering reader questions privately via email, and I hope that by blogging about it here, more of you will find the help you are looking for.
During my recovery, I not only learned powerful tools and techniques to help with my mental health, I learned how to optimize my brain for better living, learning and working in general.
Spending time in and out of hospitals when I was younger left me unable to travel like I always dreamed I would. By creating a lifestyle business, I am now able to work anywhere in the world with just a laptop.
So, I’m making up for lost time, and I’ve noticed that travel brings up some little devils…
One of those is fear. You can insert your own fears here, but for this example, I’m going to take you step by step into how I stopped one particularly crippling fear from preventing me from living fully and having some fun.
A couple of weeks ago, I made my way to London for the first time. While I thankfully don’t suffer from a fear of flying, I do struggle with a peculiar fear of heights.

Taking a break on top of a mountain hike. Scottsdale, AZ

I spend as much time as possible hiking high in the mountains here in Scottsdale. Interestingly, hitting the top and taking in the view never bothers me – no matter how high I climb.
But put me in a glass elevator or take me to the top of a skyscraper, and in my mind, the world is ending.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), introduced to me by a wonderful therapist, was critically important in my recovery from depression. A bonus of learning it is that I have a toolbox to help me navigate the challenges of daily life.
Step 1) Catch The Thoughts
One aspect of CBT is catching automatic thoughts. This is a term coined by Aaron Beck, who along with Albert Ellis, pioneered the therapy. I like to look at CBT as a ‘crowdsourced” tool as there have been many brilliant people who have contributed to its development.
Negative automatic thoughts go on throughout our day without us even being aware of them.
For this example, I’m referring to three recent outings:
Going to the Top of the Eiffel Tower.

View of the Eiffel Tower from the top of the Arc de Triomphe. Paris, France

Riding in the London Eye.

The London Eye.

Big Ben. Inside The London Eye.

Going to the top of The Shard, the Tallest Building in London – Which Opened in 2012.

The Shard. London.

Night View of Tower Bridge from the Top of The Shard. London, England.

The Thoughts I Caught: (While going up in the elevator):
“Damn it, they have put WAY too many people in this elevator. The cables are going to break, and I am going to die.”
(Out on the viewing deck as I inch closer to the window):
“Is this thing swaying?! Oh my God, this building is going to fall over and I am going to die.”
(Trying to walk right up to the window and look down):
“If I go too close to this window, it might break and I’m going to fall out and die.”
(And the more general beat down I give myself):
“I will never get over this. Why am I even doing this to myself? I should just quit going up in these things.”
Step 2) Acknowledge The Thought.
Once I catch one of these thoughts (and that part takes a little practice), I talk back in my own words. For me, it’s important that I talk back to myself this way. You’ll want to talk in a way that is natural for you.
“OK, Erin. Here it is. This is just a negative automatic thought. This is fear talking. You hardwired your brain for this by letting fear win for so many years. You can listen to it or you can go on with life.”
3) Counter The Thought
I was taught long ago to counter these thoughts as soon as I catch myself thinking them.
And by the way, it’s OK if you don’t believe your counter-argument. You are slowly rewiring years (in some cases a lifetime) of irrational thought pathways.
Catching the thought and countering it doesn’t cure it on the first try. This is a life practice, but stay with me, because it works.
Thought: “Damn it, they have put WAY too many people in this elevator. The cables are going to break, and I am going to die.”
Counter: “These elevators are safety checked, weight tested, and there are posted limits as to how much weight is allowed at a time.” (And believe me, I am counting heads and doing some math to hold the operator accountable.)
Thought: “Is this thing swaying?! Oh my God, this building is going to fall over and I am going to die.”
Counter: “Buildings don’t just fall over. This building was designed by expert architects and constructed by highly qualified engineers. It has passed rigorous safety inspections.”
Thought: “If I go too close to this window, it might break and I’m going to fall out and die.”
Counter: “These windows are made to withstand enormous amounts of pressure. A few people pushing up against them will never cause a break. I will not fall out of a closed window.”
Thought: “I will never get over this. Why am I even doing this to myself? I should just quit going up in these things.”
Counter: “I am ‘getting over this’. By continuing to confront my fear, I am slowly but surely overcoming it. Look at how much I have done. Remember, rewiring the brain takes time.”
4) Confront and Carry On
This is a saying I created to remind myself to keep going. It’s a throwback to the old “Keep Calm and Carry On” quote we see all over the internet. Be open to chances to be uncomfortable because it means you are working through fear.
It’s common to try this once and quit. As I mentioned above, there is no magic button. I practice, and I improve.
5) Reward Yourself
This is another of my additions. Each time I make progress, no matter how small, I take time and celebrate. Whether it’s a glass of champagne, your favorite coffee, a delicious meal or a simple high five with your partner in crime, remember to be kind to yourself.
Why Put Yourself Through This?
A friend once asked me why I insist on doing these things if it causes me so much stress.
Depression robbed me of a large chunk of my life. After recovering fully, gaining perspective and looking back, it also gave me great gifts.
One of those gifts is knowing that fear doesn’t have to win.
There was a time when I wouldn’t have even dared to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and now that I have (although it was a bit messy), it counts as one of the favorite moments of my life. I can’t imagine not having that.
(Please note:) While these techniques work for me, I am not a licensed therapist and certainly do not prescribe them. My goal is to write more about the struggles I have had and hopefully shed light on solutions that you may want to investigate further.
If this makes sense to you, I encourage you to find a local therapist who specializes in CBT.
And if you have techniques that have helped you, I’d love to hear about them in the comments.



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Your brain on therapy part Deux [2]

This is Your Brain on Therapy, Part Deux

Posted on July 2, 2013

Note: If you have not read Part One, please do so before embarking on this article. Thanks!
In Part One, we looked at how therapy can change our brains regarding relationships. Now, let’s look at how therapy can change our brain in another way.
Let’s imagine our brain is a large (very large) collection of roads, ranging from dirt roads to superhighways (or freeways, depending on where you’re from). These roads get built according to what we learn as we go through life. They allow the mind that emanates from our brain to locate information that the brain collects. In childhood, these roads get built and information gets collected at a frantic pace. Then things start to taper off in our late teens and early twenties. After that, our brains continue to collect and connect information, but more slowly.
Along the way, new roads get constructed. Old, unused roads get destroyed. Some small roads become larger. Some large roads become smaller. Highways acquire entrances and exits. All this happens in the service of more effective access to collected information.
Now, imagine a child whose brain is building roads like crazy connecting all the various things he (for sake of pronoun ease) learns. Some of what he learns comes from his father, say, in the form of insults, criticism, and outright neglect. The more the boy learns these negative “facts,” as the boy’s brain comes to treat them, the more roads his brain builds heading toward them and the larger those roads become. In the parlance of brain science, “the brain cells that fire together, wire together,” meaning the more a road gets used, the more substantial it becomes.
Sooner or later, the boy grows up to become a (chronological) adult. For better or worse, this man carries with him into adulthood all the facts his brain collected and all the roads his brain built between those facts while he was growing up.
Can you see where this story is headed?
Let’s say that within our hero’s brain lies a pile of information with the basic message, “I am worthless.”  This information has formed into a “fact” as far as his brain knows. Along with the pile, there is a superhighway, with lots (billions?) of entrances, heading right into “Worthless Town.” Our hero’s sense of worthlessness gets “triggered” or “activated” constantly, as a result. You get the picture?
If our hero enters into therapy, the therapist helps our hero become aware of his “fact” of worthlessness and helps him change the roadway system. This might involve building exits off the highway. Some of the highway entrances (e.g., negative self-talk) might get identified and demolished. Maybe our hero will spend more time visiting Worthless Town and either start to feel more accepting of life there or develop the ability to leave whenever he wants to. This all happens due to the plasticity of our hero’s brain, its ability to change, re-wire itself, create and undo connections within it.
At some point, our hero either spends less time in Worthless Town, feels OK with being there, or never gets there in the first place. This feels wonderful to our intrepid hero and he gets to experience his brain after therapy.

Powerful Quote

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Usually  when people are sad, 

They don't do anything.

They just cry over their condition.

But when they get angry, 

They bring about a change.”~~Michael Grassel

End Self Sabotage ... The Power of Secondary Gain

 

(this is a re-post of an article from, we have had a number of requests for info on self sabotage so here it is again...)  {The Mind Academy Newsletter}


So you've been trying to make a change for a while, and it doesn't matter what your doing or what you have done, the change you want is not happening…

You want to get to the next level with your finances but keep on 'sabotaging' yourself.

You want to recover from a long standing illness, yet it still lingers.

You what to stop attracting a certain kind of person in your life, but they keep on turning up.

That weight that you have been trying to shed for the last 5 years just doesn't seem to budge.

You keep on making life decisions that increase your burdens rather than relieves them

Why?

Some might say that self sabotage is at play, but that doesn't help us very much. So let's take a look at a major factor that prevents lasting change from happening that often appears to be 'self sabotage'.

An answer to making a change permanent might be easier than we think when we understand a psychological principle called 'Secondary Gains'.


Secondary Gains. AKA Hidden Benefits.

In simple, lay terms a secondary gain is "a hidden or unacknowledged benefit that is derived from having the presenting problem".

At The Mind Academy we use the concept of Secondary Gains across all of the modalities we teach, in fact we see it as one of the integrating principles of almost all change work and the first place we look if an issue does not resolve itself rapidly with a simple intervention or if a change only 'half occurs' or a change happens but then appears to be replaced by a new problem behavior.


Let's Take a Look At Some Examples:

1. An elderly woman with a chronic illness that should have responded well to a simple nutritional regime change,yet made little to no progress, this meant that her son and daughter needed to spend time helping her around the house during the week. She had been lonely before the illness and when asked what she stood to lose if she got well, she caught her self saying almost immediately 'I would be lonely again'.

Given the choice between being ill and lonely, she unconsciously chose the illness. Not being lonely was the hidden benefit.


2. A woman with a severe phobia of spiders was not responding to the normally very effective and simple phobia elimination solutions of NLP and Hypnosis. When asked what would change in her life or relationships if she lost the phobia, she responded that it was the one area in her life that her husband really took the time to make sure that she was OK.

No phobia, no check in from husband… translates to the unconscious as 'I'll keep the phobia, thanks !'


3. A woman broke her leg on the ski slopes, had a full cast and was immobile for a few weeks, the kids and husband did more around the house and treated her with greater care. When the cast came off, she started having 'phantom' leg pain. It would often get so bad she couldn't move.  After a year of this she ends up at he hypnotherapists office. The secondary gain was identified.  Leg pain equals the desire for fairness in house duties. Once she took charge and set boundaries around the house, the leg pain disappeared.

Here are a few more:

If my back was fixed, I'd have to go to work.

If my rash/headaches cleared up, I'll have to be intimate with my husband/wife again

If my depression went, I'd have to take full responsibility for my life


It can be incredibly revealing, healing, helpful, life changing or just plain old informative to identify how secondary gains are affecting our lives and
preventing the changes we want from happening.

You might find it useful to identify a long running issue in your life and ask a few questions to see if you can pinpoint any secondary gains connected to it.

Here are a few questions (some have an unusual linguistic structure) that will help you unravel the secondary gains/hidden benefits of an issue you may have.

Secondary Gain Questions:

What do you gain, how do you benefit from having this problem?

How would not having this problem change your life/relationships for the negative?

How does having this problem benefit you?

What do you not gain by having this problem?

What don't you gain by having this problem?

What don't you not gain by having this problem?

What would you lose if you didn't have this problem?

What wouldn't you not lose if you didn't have this problem?


It can also be useful to go back into your past to where the problem first started and became habitualised or normalised as a response and see what possible resources, needs or benefits you can find in starting the problem back then.

For example did it help to protect you or keep you safe in some way? Was it an attempt to get some control or perhaps the approval or acknowledgment of someone or some group? Let your mind really explore all possibilities, sometimes they are obvious and sometimes revealing the true hidden benefits of having or maintaining a problem can require a little digging.

Quite literally 9 out of ten times if an issue is being stubborn or self sabotage appears to be involved then a secondary gain/hidden benefit will be at play in some way.

This is your brain on Therapy part 1

This is your brain on therapy

By Sarah McKay on September 5, 2014 in Blog

Dr. Dan Metevier is a psychologist from Carlsbad, California. He works with a variety of clients and helps these people feel better about themselves, their lives, and their relationships. You can visit Dan’s website here.

So, what really happens to your brain when you go to a therapist?

Let’s start from the very beginning (a very good place to start). In the beginning, our brains have a lot of ‘hardware’, estimated at one hundred billion brain cells, but they have very little ‘software’. We only have ‘programs’ that let us do things like cry, sleep, poop, suck etc.
As we grow up, our brains act like little organic computers that program themselves by creating or undoing connections between brain cells, estimated at about 10,000 connections per cell, or about one quadrillion (that’s a one with 15 zeroes after it) possible connections in all. That’s a lot!
The connections we can make in our brain reflect the ‘genetic potential’ we receive from our parents. It’s like your parents each had a deck of cards and threw in some of them to give you your hand. So, you play with the cards you were dealt, so to speak. If both your parents throw in a ‘smart’ card, then you have a good chance at being smart. The same holds true of height, eye color, hair color, temperament, attention deficit, bipolar disorder, alcoholism, and so on. You would have the potential/possibility for those but may or may not realise (acquire or fulfill) that potential.

Let’s look at a scenario…

The connections we do make in our brain reflect how we use this deck of cards to deal with our environment as we grow up. If Person A has an easy, pleasant, nurturing childhood, their brain will get ‘wired up’ or ‘programmed’ to process that kind of input. If Person B has a rough, abusive, lonely childhood, their brain gets programmed to deal in some creative manner (sometimes called ‘a defense mechanism’) with that kind of life.
Person A can readily deal with nice, pleasant, friendly people, but may have difficulty knowing what to do with a mean, unpleasant, abusive person because they have no program to process input from that kind of person. They may assume the mean person is just having a bad day (or life) and will change sometime in the future. This assumption may get them into trouble.
Likewise, Person B can deal in some way with abusive, mean people, but may have difficulty knowing what to do with a healthier person. They have no program to process input from a healthy person. To them, abusive behavior seems “normal” and they feel in some way comfortable, or at least familiar, with it. Person B may even find they are attracted to abusive others again and again because that’s the kind of person their brain (thus far) can deal with.
What kind of picture forms in your mind right now? Do you recognize any of this in yourself or others you know?
Both Person A and Person B can benefit from going to therapy (therapy is not just for crazy people any more!!). Person B may have suffered through a string of bad relationships, not knowing why, or unable to figure out, how to establish or keep a healthy relationship. Person B’s brain does not ‘do’ healthy. Person A, on the other hand, may have stumbled across a relationship that doesn’t make sense or may even have traumatised them, since Person A’s brain doesn’t ‘do’ unhealthy.
Enter therapy. Please! (Apologies to Henny Youngman.)
So let’s say Person B seeks relief by entering therapy with a relatively healthy therapist (not guaranteed, by the way, but that’s a whole other Oprah). At first, Person B may feel uncomfortable with the therapist because his or her brain doesn’t process input from the healthy therapist. Luckily, however, Person B’s brain has plasticity (a fancy word meaning it can change) and during every encounter with the therapist, Person B’s brain gets slightly rewired or reprogrammed.
Almost regardless of what happens during these encounters, as long as the therapist behaves in a healthy manner, Person B’s brain creatively adapts to deal more effectively with ‘healthy’. Person B’s brain cells slowly undo unhealthy connections and create healthy connections. After a while, Person B finds they too can act in healthy ways and they can enter and maintain healthy relationships (well, healthier, at least).
Person A can benefit from working with a healthy therapist, too. Possibly some brain-expanding education, role-playing, or other method provided in therapy will help add to the existing programs in Person A’s brain that they can call upon when encountering unhealthy people.
So, your brain-on-therapy makes subtle shifts, disconnections, re-connections, new connections, and so on, leading to greater and greater health. And then one day you’ll wake up in the morning and realise your life feels much better.

9 ingredients to avoid in processed foods!

Article on cancer...sounds logical!

CancerTruth with Mariquita Veas and 14 others

HEALTH TIP: A remarkable alternative cancer treatment was devised by a German biochemist, Dr. Johanna Budwig, also a seven time Nobel nominee. Her most important medical contributions involved her research into the roles of essential fatty acids (EFAs). In order to mass produce and distribute foods high in oils, food manufacturers deliberately alter the chemical composition of the oils, which gives them longer shelf lives. In the 1950’s, she proved that these chemically-altered, hydrogenated fats (which she called “pseudo” fats) are rigid fats which stick to the cell membranes, thus causing them to malfunction.
Dr. Budwig believed that these hydrogenated, processed fats and oils shut down the electrical field of the cells and make us susceptible to chronic and terminal diseases, since the beneficial oxidase ferments are destroyed by heating or boiling. She also demonstrated that the absence of essential unsaturated fats is responsible for the production of oxidase, which induces cancer growth and causes many other chronic disorders. She came to believe that cancer was not the result of too much cell growth, but defective cell growth (i.e., cell division), caused by the combination of too much “pseudo” fats and too few healthy fats in the cell membrane.
But exactly what happens to fats when they are processed? In healthy fats there is a vital electron cloud which enables the fat to bind with oxygen. Healthy, oxygenated fats are capable of binding with protein and in the process become water-soluble. This water solubility is vital to all growth processes, cell damage restoration, cell renewal, brain and nerve functions, sensory nerve functions, and energy development. In fact, the entire basis of our energy production is based on lipid metabolism. Hydrogenation destroys the vital electron cloud and as a result, these “pseudo” fats can no longer bind with oxygen or with protein. These fats end up blocking circulation, damaging the heart, inhibiting cell renewal, and impeding the free flow of blood and lymph. You might want to remember this fact the next time you want to buy some margarine or fried foods, since both typically contain these harmful fats.
Budwig understood that chronic disease is a result of a body lacking EFAs, which are full of electrons and bind to oxygen and proteins. When they are absorbed into the cell wall, they pull oxygen into the cell. And when bound to sulfur-based proteins, they become water-soluble. This is the theory behind the Budwig Diet: the use of oxygen in the organism can be stimulated by lipoproteins (sulfur-rich proteins and linoleic acid). The Budwig Diet (a blend of flaxseed oil and cottage cheese) has been an integral part in the recovery of literally thousands of cancer patients. You simply mix one cup of organic cottage cheese with two to three tablespoons of flaxseed oil. Be sure to blend them together and let them sit for several minutes. This will convert the oil-soluble omega-3 into water-soluble omega-3. It is also a good idea to grind fresh flax seeds and add to the mixture. It is important to note that neither foods rich in EFAs nor sulfur-rich proteins alone will accomplish these tasks. This is because the oils must first bind to the proteins before oxygen can be bound and before the body can assimilate the combination. Thanks to the tireless work of Dr. Budwig we now know that electron-rich fats interact with sulfur-rich proteins to bind oxygen and promote aerobic metabolism which restores health.

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Fix it! Don't mask it!

As always, there's a quick-fix to MASK the problem, or there is a CURE for the problem.
One is a cover-up and hope the problem goes away while your head is in the sand.
The other is rolling up the sleeves and getting down to the cause, implementing the remedy, and taking permanent preventative measures to ensure no recurrences, no relapses. ~~Doc

Don't gain weight when you quit smoking.

A woman smokes a cigarette on January 17, 2014 in Times Square in New York City. Source: AFP 

SMOKERS may no longer be able to use getting fat as an excuse not to quit after researchers found weight gain is usually temporary. 

A study of about 1000 people in Dunedin also found those who quit probably don't put on as much weight as once thought.

Undertaken by the University of Otago and published in journal, Nicotine and Tobacco Research, the research studied people born in 1972-73 and measured smoking habits and weight at regular intervals.

The subjects were tested at ages between 15 and 38.

About one-third of the group were smokers at age 21 and about 40 per cent of those had quit by 38.

The study found quitters, both male and female, are likely to gain around five kilograms after giving up. However, their weight bounced back to similar levels of nonsmokers over time.

Smoking also does not prevent long-term weight gain, the study found.

"We hope that our findings will encourage people who are thinking about quitting. They should not be put off by the fear of putting on large amounts of weight," head researcher Lindsay Robertson said.

"It is important to be aware that a small weight gain is unlikely to offset the health benefits of quitting."

A new report from the Surgeon General shows the that list of negative side effects and diseases caused by cigarettes continues to grow, including diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis and erectile dysfunction.