Why Everything We've Been Told About Happiness Is Flawed

 

 

 

Why Everything We've Been Told About Happiness Is Flawed

The traditional path to happiness doesn't work for many, so here's how to bring more meaning into your everyday life.

Redefining Happiness

Once you accept that the old path to happiness is an illusion, you have to acknowledge that there is no new standard story that provides a new path, says Beavan. "It’s no longer about personal happiness," he says. "That happiness is narcissistic and comes at the expense of the world."
To redefine happiness, you have to explore who you really are. "Too many of us get caught up in the 10,000 ad messages that bombard us every day, and we start wanting things we don’t need," says Beavan. "Things are at the surface of who we are; deeper inside, you find passions. Ask yourself, ‘What do I care about?’"

efining Happiness

To redefine happiness, you have to explore who you really are. "Too many of us get caught up in the 10,000 ad messages that bombard us every day, and we start wanting things we don’t need," says Beavan. "Things are at the surface of who we are; deeper inside, you find passions. Ask yourself, ‘What do I care about?’"

Start Small

The answer doesn’t require a career change or grand action; that will stop you, says Beavan. Instead, explore who you are in the world by looking at simple relationships you have with things like food, products, or transportation. Then choose one aspect of your life that matters to you, and take a step
 

Begin by saying, ‘Today I care about this.’ Then fix that one thing.

 

 

 

Perhaps you want to explore your relationship to coffee, for example. Beavan suggests starting by making a commitment to only purchase and drink ethically produced coffee. But don’t stop there. Research the harm the traditional coffee industry is doing. Find out how you can help, and take steps to make a difference.
"Begin by saying, ‘Today I care about this.’ Then fix that one thing," he says. "We can worry about all of the problems of the world and do nothing, or we can be happy that there are tremendous opportunities that we can plug into. This is an opportunity to redefine our lives and find our happiness."

 

Finding Your Calling

As you make small changes, you begin to gain competence in living according to your values, says Beavan, and eventually you may start to change bigger things. The process is how you define your calling, but it won’t happen right away, says Beavan.
"We usually don’t know enough about ourselves to identify that right away," he says. "Nor do we have types of lives to support that. Experimenting in those smaller relationships helps you find what will give you fulfillment by helping the world."
Many people design a career around their calling, but callings can also emerge in the moment, says Beavan. For example, if you care about what’s happening with racial barriers, identify what you can do in your life to make a difference.
"If you work in HR, for example, you might begin by working on a new hiring policy," says Beavan. "Avoid hiring from personal networks. Advertise jobs and cast a wider net to find new talent. Ask yourself, ‘How can I deal with this in my life right now?'"
Happiness is not the end goal of life, says Beavan. "Happy people help more people," he says. "If you make yourself miserable helping the world, you won’t help for long. Find ways to help that make you happy, too. This gives you the energy to help more. Happiness is not our purpose; it’s the fuel to fulfill our purpose."