Harvard Psychologist Reveals A Unique Strategy For Dealing With Anxiety

Technically, an exercise like this is known as “self-affirmation” and recent studies have actually shown it to have a profound impact on confidence and motivation

In one recent study at the University of California at Los Angeles and the University of California at Santa Barbara, students were put under stressful situations to test how they could cope with them. The study shows that the students who practiced self-affirmation prior to the tests all performed better and were under less stress than the students who did not.

In other words, simply reflecting on who you are and what you care about may be enough to buffer the effects of a highly stressful experience.
According to Cuddy, self-affirmation is “a way of grounding ourselves in the truth of our own stories. It makes us feel less dependent on the approval of others and even comfortable with their disapproval if that’s what we get.”

Realizing and reflecting upon our own values can actually put us at ease in stressful situations, and help us overcome anxiety so we can achieve our goals.
The following is an interesting TED Talk that Cuddy gave in 2012 about the importance of body language and its relation to confidence.
Please share this information with your family and friends. Anxiety is something everyone suffers from at one stage or another so it’s essential we help eachother as much as we can.

One of the most interesting strategies requires a quick exercise in which the person experiencing anxiety takes a few minutes to write down a core value that is meaningful to them, and a time in their life or an experience that made them feel this way. This task seems strange and unrelated to anxiety, however, according to Cuddy, this will empower the individual and bring them motivation which can conquer their fears.

Psychology: The Meaning Behind Your Doodles

1. Boxes: desire to be constructive (synonyms: helpful, effective, practical, useful, positive)
2. 3-D Boxes: ability to see all sides of an issue
3. Triangles: one who’s mind is logical/rational, desire to see things come to a head
4. Arrows: feelings of ambition, drive, motivation
5. Aimless lines that form no shape or go in all directions: feeling undirected, without structure/purpose, irritated, frustrated
6. Stars: feelings of hopelessness, looking forward or up to things, and optimism

1. Circles: feeling passive rather than aggressive, circles are associated with sociable, talkative, and friendly, desire to be flexible and loving
2. Hearts: one who has love on their mind in most cases (obviously)
3. Flowers: flowers represent the feminine side of ourselves, a desire to see growth, nature, and reproduction 

1. Several Flowers in Order: desire to see sense of family/togetherness
2. Food: need for love, desire to be filled up, of course it might indicate hunger/thirst
3. Animals: one who is sensitive to living creatures, the type of animal is a great deal about the mood of the doodler and often the type that the person wants to be (ex: tiger means desire to be courageous, snake means sneaky),
4. Small Animals: slowness, lack of self-confidence, more introverted tendencies
5. Aggressive Animals: feeling assertive (synonyms: agressive, confident, demanding, leader, strong-willed)

1. Fun-loving Animals: one who is playful
2. Animals that move quickly: desire to get away quickly
3. Transportation Methods: -Doodles of cars, trains, boats, wagons, buses…etc., means desire to get away quickly or to reach a goal, often people who are bored with their jobs draw these
4. Houses: a warm inviting house is when one is happy with his homelife, a hazardous house is when one has negative feelings towards it
5. Tree: a tree represents our egos and our ambitions. A healthy tree (large, robust, strong, balanced, full, alive) indicates love, sex, children together. bare, droopy branches indicates depression, lack of fighting spirit.

1. People:

• Not Drawing Hands: the feeling of not being able to do things
• Not Drawing Feet: feeling of not belonging anywhere, as if you have no roots
• Face: missing parts of the face is one who feels not whole, faceless, and feeling lack
• Only Drawing the Profile (side of the face): one who doesn’t like the way they look, or feeling like you can’t draw well
• Only drawing eyes: feelings of suspicion, cautious, careful, as if you need to have eyes on all parts of your head
• Ears Only: feeling that you have to listen too much from someone.

1. People who shade: are sensual (desire to please/excite your senses)
2. People who shade in existing letters: unexpressed sensuality, feeling like setting limits to oneself, not feeling adventurous/creative at the moment
3. Doodling on one’s body and/or getting tattoos: not wanting to be mainstream; needing to flaunt one’s individuality, if it’s overdone - it indicates desire to self-destruct
4. Doodle on buildings (walls), books, schoolwork…etc: antisocial feelings and behavior, desperate need to be seen and heard

1. Constantly doodling the same image over & over: feeling like one has no artistic talent
2. Doodling on whatever paper happens to be around: are people who get bored easily
3. People who like to doodle in their spare time: usually indicates artistic ability, otherwise -one who thinks that they have artistic ability
4. People who rarely/never doodle: usually express themselves through words rather than images

Source: “Handwriting Analysis; Putting It To Work For You” By Andrea McNicole

25 Adult Milestones That Aren’t Marriage

 Marriage is a wonderful thing. However, it is not the gateway to adulthood that many seem to take it for. People are getting married later than ever. Many of us will find ourselves, build a life, and create our own happiness before finding it with someone else. We will reach true adulthood long before we have a ring on our finger.

SO – WHAT ARE SOME OTHER MILESTONES TO INDICATE YOU’RE A REAL GROWN UP?

 

Here are 25 things that are even more grown up than getting married:

1. You are no longer on your parents’ cell phone plan.

2. You travel to a new city that you’ve always wanted to explore. You plan and pay for the trip yourself.

3. You work out and eat healthy food because you love your body, not because you hate it.

4. You have a 401k. You look forward to retirement.

5. You are secure in your life path. When a friend hits a major milestone, you no longer feel jealous or insecure. Instead, you are truly happy for them.

6. You say “I love you” without needing to hear it back.

7. You know what a deductible is. More importantly, you know what your deductible is.

8. You host a dinner party – in your home – with food you cooked yourself.

9. You have learned to dance the fine line between treating yourself and spending foolishly.

10. You have purchased furniture from a place that is not Craigslist or Ikea.

11. You’ve declined a marriage proposal that didn’t feel right.

12. You vote.

13. You can change a tire by yourself.

14. You have well developed and thoughtfully nuanced political opinions.

15. You make your own doctor and dentist appointments.

16. You buy your own plane ticket home.

17. You have quit a job that wasn’t right for you.

18. You have your own health and car insurance. You understand your coverage on each.

19. You discover a book that you can confidently and unequivocally name as your favorite. It changed your life!

20. You have moved to a town where you knew nobody. You created your own support network there.

21. You have written and delivered a fantastic speech.

22. You treat your parents to dinner once in awhile.

23. You have asked for a pay raise at work.

24. Your spiritual beliefs are entirely your own. They are a meaningful part of your daily life.

25. You donate to charity.

“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.,” wrote Maya Angelou.

Adulthood is not necessarily about starting a family. It is about becoming yourself and giving back to society. Consider the milestones above, and ask yourself: Are you just aging, or are you growing up?

15 Things That Increase Your Libido

Men and women are different when it comes to their libidos, but both can suffer from having a low libido and wanting to increase it.

In this article, we will look at 15 things that can increase sex drive and how you can start enjoying a healthier, mature sex life with your partner today.

15 Things That Increase Your Libido 

 Before we talk about how to increase your libido with one or more of these things on our list, let’s discuss what libido is. According to a research paper published in the European Menopause Journal ‘Libido is a comprehensive and yet elusive word that indicates basic human mental states ‘ and their biological counterparts’ involved in the beginning of sexual behavior. It has three main roots: biological, motivational-affective and cognitive.’ To increase libido, we can focus on mental, biological, or emotional factors, or we can try to affect all three of these factors.

 

1. Remember the best sex you ever had

Memories of the good times that you’ve had, either with your current partner, or with someone else, can make you desire sex and increase your libido.

2. Love yourself first

Loving others intimately involves an emotional vulnerability. Often, we may feel unable to give love (or sex) to another person unless we feel loveable first.

3. Eat pine nuts

Pine nuts help your body to produce nitric oxide, which dilates blood vessels. Getting your blood flowing warms the body and feels like a rush of adrenaline, which feels exciting. Pair up with your partner and your libido should jump into action.

4. Get more zinc

Zinc is essential for the production of testosterone, which is important for men’s libido. Researchers say that testosterone is not only important for men to maintain an erection, but is also important for increasing libido.
The scientists say ‘The role of sex hormones in the sexuality of men is now becoming clearer. Androgens are necessary for normal sexual appetite and for ejaculation. Erectile mechanisms, providing that appropriate erotic stimuli are available, are probably not androgen dependent.’ The researchers also say the testosterone levels required for increasing your libido probably varies from person to person.

5. Avoid soy products

For women who are post-menopausal, estrogen levels decrease leading to pain and dryness during intercourse. Soy products contain phytoestrogen which block the estrogen receptors in the in the body. Blocked estrogen receptors means that your body can’t absorb the normal estrogen.

6. Think sexy thoughts

Your brain is an important part of your libido. Give some thought to the things that turn you on about your partner or an attractive person. What do you love about their body and the way that they please you?

7. Choose to feel intense love

The emotional component of your libido is something you can control by making a decision to feel love and to release any negative emotions.

8. Open up

 Honest communication is important for establishing intimacy with your partner. When you feel free to be open, you trust more, which makes you more likely to be receptive to your partner’s advances.

 

9. Give your libido as much thought as your appetite

When you are careful about our health, you pay attention to how hungry we really are before we eat. We can do the same thing with our sex drive.
Check in with yourself and rate your sex drive on a scale of 1 to 10 in the morning, afternoon and evening. Knowing your pattern of sex.

10. Just say yes, even if you aren’t in the mood

There are very few times that having sex with your partner, whom you love, is bad. There may be times when sex is less than great, like when you are sick or not feeling your best, but the act of sex can help you bond with your partner in an intimate way. This bond leads you to desire more and more intimacy, thus increasing your libido.

11. Make believe you just met your partner

Pretending to be a brand new couple is a way to heighten the excitement, anticipation, and arousal for both of you.

12. Watch a sexy movie

Viewing nude bodies doing pleasurable things to each other is sure to make you think of doing those things with your partner. Ask your partner what they enjoy watching and find a movie that you can enjoy together.

13. Use all your senses

So many people close their eyes during foreplay, for example while kissing, and they may be missing out on an intimate moment where making eye contact can bring them more intense arousal than keeping their eyes closed.
Breathe in through your nose to use your sense of smell, listen for your partner’s moans, feel their fingers and hands, and taste the salt from their skin.

14. Make dirty jokes

Laughter is a great way to create a bond with your partner and dirty jokes between the two of you are a good way to rev up your libido. Joking with each other about your cute names that you use when you are alone is just one way to amp up your desire.

15. Touch more

Just a touch on your partner’s shoulder, hand, or back is enough to get them thinking of sex.

4 Ways That Today’s Society Is Making You Dumber

I don’t want to start this piece by describing today’s society to you. You can see it for yourself.

If you’re young enough not to know the difference, it won’t seem strange to you. If you, like me, are old enough to have lived in a different time, today’s society will seem to you so different to what you grew up in as to be barely recognizable.

I have to admit to feeling sometimes totally disoriented in today’s society. It seems so weird sometimes, bizarre, surreal. I wonder if this is how all generations feel or if the world is changing faster then than it did in the past.

Do you remember the days before cell phones? It wasn’t even that long ago. I remember having only four channels on my TV set and the internet not even being something I could conceive of… I’m not even middle-aged yet, and look at where we are now!

In the days before the dawn of the internet, if you had a question, you had two choices: you looked up the answer in a book (which you either had or you didn’t), or you asked someone. If you couldn’t get your answer, you had to search it out, and it would take time – you had to be patient.

In today’s society, Google is God: you have any question and the all-knowing, all-seeing, ever-present one will give you an immediate answer.

You would think, with such easy access to an inexhaustible supply of information, people would be getting more and more intelligent…

So how come the opposite seems to be happening?

Take a look at any respected 19^th century, 18^th century, medieval writer and just look at what they achieved. Look at how learned they were, and think about the resources they had.

What’s happening in today’s society? We have more resources and easier access than ever before,   

 and yet we seem to be getting dumber by the day.




 1. Multitasking and Constant Distraction

Multitasking is often espoused as a positive thing and something we should be proud of as a skill. However, multitasking doesn’t have a positive impact on the brain or the health. According to Earl Miller, a neuroscientist at MIT, when people think they are multitasking, what they’re actually doing is just switching their focus rapidly from one object to another.

Multi-tasking, like drugs such as cocaine, gets the brain into a dopamine addiction feedback loop. This means the brain gets a chemical reward every time it switches focus to something new, meaning that it’s far less stimulating to stay focused on one task, regardless of how worthy or important it is, than it is to switch between several new trivialities. The prefrontal cortex of the brain is biased toward novelty-seeking and will always prefer something new to concentrating enough on something to think it through properly.
This all has a major cognitive cost. Professor of psychology Glenn Wilson claims that you lose 10% of your effective IQ just from being distracted by a single e-mail when you’re trying to complete a task. Just think of how many distractions you are dealing with per task, and consider how much brain power you are losing.
What’s more, multitasking causes an increase in the stress hormone cortisol and in adrenaline, causing mental confusion and having an adverse impact on overall physical health.

2. Superficial Knowledge

How much of what you read online do you actually absorb? Test someone you know and ask them to test you. Try to explain in depth the content of an article you read recently, making sure that all the information and statistics are correct. Chances are you’ll discover that you don’t really know what you think you know.
This happened to me when I met someone last year who started asking me to qualify the things I said with adequate reasoning and evidence. I realized that I had a lot of opinions that I thought were based on solid foundations, but somehow I couldn’t justify any of them satisfactorily. I would start trying to make an argument and get lost somewhere in the middle, realizing that I couldn’t explain myself. I was horrified at how much I had let my brain go soft and how much time I’d wasted reading information that I wasn’t retaining.

3. The Information Economy

If you hadn’t noticed yet, we’ve moved into the age of the information economy. Information, in today’s society, is a commodity like any other, and, as a result, it’s being marketed like any other product. Information has to be sensational, if you, the consumer, with your already over-stimulated dopamine circuit, is going to be interested in looking at it. The stimulus has to be stronger and stronger to give you your fix. As is the case with the music and film industries, what appeals to the masses is no indication of quality – in fact, it’s often an inverse indication. Information has started to become like music and films in that it’s manipulated to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

4. Addiction to Impact

How many people do you notice online that clearly comment on and/or share stories without actually reading the content? You may have been guilty of it yourself. In today’s society, people are addicted to impact. For them to be interested in an article, the headline has to make a big impact and that’s often the only thing that the people reading care about, i.e., the attitude or position that an article is taking.
What’s more, people in today’s society are making commodities of themselves. In the exact same way as they take photoshopped-beyond-recognition selfies, presenting themselves as a fantasy, they’re attaching themselves to particular images and ideas and then selling themselves as a package. I am X style of music, I am liberal, I am alt-right, I am vegan, I am spiritual… When people begin attaching their identities to certain ideas we get into dangerous territory, because it means you refuse to entertain any other idea or enter into discussion – this is the definition of stupidity.

In today’s society, information is like everything else – disposable. Easy come, easy go. You read an article, you watch a video of a cat, you look at a selfie, you watch a video of a dog… you forget the article. In the end, you value none of this except for the moment that you’re engaged, and in the next moment, you’ve forgotten it. At most, you share one of them to identify yourself with it and see how many likes you get. It’s a worrying state of affairs, and who knows where it’s all going and if we can save ourselves.

10 Ways Your Intuition Sends You Messages

Posted by Tanaaz Chubb | Spiritual, The Journal | 19 |

 Do you sometimes struggle to hear your intuition or higher self?

It can sometimes be difficult to hear the soft murmuring of your heart or intuition. This is especially true when you are feeling emotional or at a crossroads in your life.
Sometimes our thoughts can cause us to feel so clouded and confused that it can be difficult to sift through what is the voice of our intuition and the voice of our ego.
In times of need, when we really need a helping hand to guide us towards our truth and our heart, there are a few signs or clues that our intuition may provide us with.
These signs and clues can sometimes be easier to identify than the strong feeling of knowing that our intuition can give to us when we are feeling clear and confident.
These signs may be subtle so you will have to be open to hearing and seeing them, however they may help you to make a step in the right direction, especially if you are unsure or still learning how to use your intuition to tap onto your higher self.

1. A tingling sensation or goosebumps
2. A feeling of urgency, uncomfortableness or ‘butterflies’
3. Prophetic dreams or vivid dreams that seem to carry a message
4. Seeing number patterns like 11:11 or 911
5. Seeing a billboard, TV show or street sign with a synchronistic message
6. Hearing a song stuck in your head
7. Ringing or buzzing in the ears  
8.  (that is not medically related)
9. Receiving advice that seems to come at the perfect time
10. A vision or wave of inspiration during meditating, exercising or showering
11. Feeling physically ill for no apparent reason, especially in the stomach or head area

The more we trust and listen for our intuition the stronger it becomes, however if you are struggling to hear your inner voice sometimes having a psychic/intuitive reading can be a helpful way to clarify things.
Whatever method you choose to help you better connect with your intuition, know that regular practice, gratitude and staying connected to your inner self are all tools that can help make this process easier.

8 Limiting Beliefs That Cause Most Life Problems

No matter what goal you want to achieve, no matter what you think your blocks might be, or what problems you might be experiencing in your life and circumstances, everything comes back to your mind.
If you want to overcome an obstacle, you start with your mindset. If you want more success, you start with your mindset. This is because…

1. What is within your control stems directly from your mind. It begins in your beliefs, which drive most of your thought patterns, giving rise to the majority of your feelings, which incline your choices and actions (or inaction), and therefore create results in your life.
2. What is not within your control is still perceived and interpreted by you through the filter of your beliefs, which again drive your thought patterns, giving rise to your feelings, inclining your choices and action, therefore producing results in response to whatever is going on around you.

Your mindset is therefore key to the proactive creation of what you want in your life, and your reactive response to life happening around you.

Most people have some type of limitation in their mindset, which either shows up as problems in their life or a cap on the extent of success they experience – be it in love, relationships, health, body, money, lifestyle or career/business.

Your mindset is simply a result of the way you have been conditioned over your lifetime. For example, from the day that you were born your mind observed the world around you. You absorbed information, conversations, experiences and outcomes, doing your best to interpret and formulate what you believed to be true about yourself, other people and life. Your current beliefs, fears and expectations were all conditioned in some way by your parents, family, teachers, peers, relationships, bosses, colleagues, friends, advertising, social media, news media and more. The broader environment of your generation, country, culture and society has had an influence on your mindset.

Throughout your life to date, your mind has always been busy making sense of all of this, to formulate the best way to get by, to be good and successful, and to avoid pain. This is true for everyone. As your mind automatically formulates beliefs in this process, some of those beliefs end up being useful and liberating, but others can be harmful and limiting.

This mindset is your unique paradigm, your “model of reality”. It is like a pair of coloured glassed you wear, which tint what you see and believe to be true, based on the unique path your life has taken and the conditioning you have experienced. As you go about your life, your mind perceives what is happening around you with your senses, filtering it all through your beliefs, and interpreting everything according to that. This then drives most of your thought patterns, feelings, communication and action, and therefore produces the results of your life.

Most issues can easily be traced back to a blocked mindset in this way – either because it is in your control and you are generating issues directly THROUGH your mindset or because of how you are perceiving something outside of your control FROM your mindset.

People become stuck in their conditioning, and like a scratched CD they keep replaying the same message, behavior, patterns and results on a loop until something or someone comes along to bump them out of it, to interrupt the pattern and to introduce a whole new mindset.

It is definitely not your fault if you have limitation in your mindset from unconscious conditioning that has taken place before you became aware of it, but once aware, it is your responsibility to do something about it – to help yourself.

Here are 8 common root-cause limiting beliefs that exist below most problems. While limiting beliefs can show up in all sorts of costumes, other versions of limiting beliefs often boil down to one or more of these…

• I am not good enough / I am not enough
• I am not loved / I am unlovable
• I am undeserving / I am not worthy
• I am incomplete
• I am unsupported
• I am not safe
• I am alone / I don’t belong
• I am nothing

How to Know What You Believe
As you glance over this list you may initially think on a conscious level that they don’t apply to you. To go beyond the surface level of your mind and what you “think”, to instead delve deeper to what you really believe:

• focus on any problems you have in your life/circumstances at present and then ask yourself if you believe any of these 8 things
• focus on any negative habits/patterns you have and then ask yourself if you believe any of these 8 things
• focus on any goals/aspirations you want to achieve but are struggling to get traction with or are not acting upon at all, and then ask yourself if you believe any of these 8 things

Being specifically focused on particular areas of your life when you consider these 8 limiting beliefs, helps you to see them at play in your life.

Finally, always remember that your actions attest to what you truly believe. So look at your actions or inaction as a footprint to trace back to what you believe to be true and real about yourself, other people and life, helping to pinpoint limitations in your mindset that need resolution in order for you to be fully happy and successful.
The Good News
While your mind may have been conditioned to believe one or more of these limiting things, the good news is that your mind can also be reconditioned to believe the exact opposite. Your mind can be trained, shaped and led to a healthy, accurate paradigm that serves you, so you can get results in all areas of your life without limitation.
As a prescription for a limiting paradigm, to rewire your mind to full health, you want to embed:

• I am good enough
• I am enough
• I am loved/lovable
• I am deserving/worthy
• I am whole/complete
• I am supported
• I am safe
• I am connected / I belong
• I am valid, valued and valuable
•  

Important Keys for Embedding Healthy New Beliefs

1. Know those limiting beliefs your mind has taken on board do not belong to you. They are accidental baggage you picked up because your mind absorbed messages from those around you, from your upbringing, education, exposure and experiences throughout life, and did it’s best to make sense of life.
2. Logically see that those limiting beliefs are not true. This might feel like a push for you at first. The key is to understand that everyone is born clean and clear of limiting beliefs about themselves, others and life. No baby is born with a limiting mindset. Limiting mindsets are created. Therefore if you were born clear, and the only thing different about you now is that you got bigger as you grew into an adult, then fundamentally at your core you are still as you were born – clean and clear. Your mind is the only place that got led into a foggy and confusing paradigm of illusion, and your mind can be changed.
3. Understand that your mind will absorb whatever you feed it consistently and repetitively,  or with a level of intensity/conviction. That is how limiting beliefs were formed in the first place – because you heard/saw/felt something enough that you began to believe it, or because something intense/traumatic/memorable occurred and you took on a new belief as a result of how you interpreted that. Therefore, the same goes for retraining your mind, you maximise your understanding of this process and use it to your benefit now. As a grown adult with awareness and free will, your point of power is to now own your mind, to use it as a tool and to lead it, lest it owns you!

Why is My Mindset Limited?

20 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Truly Be Yourself

How often have you heard someone telling you to “just be yourself”? In reality, being ourself in a world that is constantly trying to make us everything but ourself is far from being an easy task. It is a tremendous endeavor!
Our current society is playing on our insecurity to sell us products that will give us a false sense of belonging. It doesn’t sell us products, it sells us values like freedom, power, fame or beauty.
However, do these products help you be yourself ? Ins’t being true to yourself the only real freedom and beauty of life?

My sincere hope is that the following quotes will inspire to truly be yourself, not the person your parents, friends, colleagues or society want you to be. It is not easy, but it is definitely worthy.

Here are the 20 that will inspire you to be truly yourself:

1) Be Yourself, everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

2) I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. – Mahatma Gandhi

3) I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. – Rita Mae Brown

4) If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? – RuPaul

5) Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are. – Quentin Crisp

6) Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. – Oscar Wilde

7) Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. – Steve Jobs

8) You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
 But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass – Dale Wimbrow

9) Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. ― Bernard M. Baruch

10) Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. ― Marilyn Monroe

11) If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. ― Frank Zappa

12) When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

13) Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” ― Henry David Thoreau

14) The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.” ― Leo Buscaglia

15) Let others determine your worth and you’re already lost, because no one wants people worth more than themselves.” ― Peter V. Brett

16) Imitation is suicide. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

17) Strive to become the best version of you instead of the best copy of someone else’s life.” ― Edmond Mbiaka,

18) Don’t compromise even if it hurts to be yourself. – Toby Keith

19) I’ve finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be? – Goldie Hawn

20) To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. – E.E. Cummings

10 Things A Highly Sensitive Person Should Never Have To Deal With

The physical and emotional senses of a highly sensitive person are far more heightened than the average person. Office lighting that is perfectly normal for the average person may induce a migraine in someone that is very sensitive. The light is that much brighter to them. Sounds are that much louder. Colors are more vibrant and emotions are an avalanche that cannot be stopped or delayed. They are typically hyper-aware of the things in their environment and small things most people would tune out or not even notice will drive a sensitive person completely nuts. They live in a much “louder” world than the rest of the population.

Here are ten things that sensitive people just shouldn’t have to deal with…

1. Holding Back

Their emotions are a giant ocean wave. You cannot stop it. All they can do is ride it out and try to stay on the surface. They feel more deeply and more powerfully than the average person. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. They learn early on that it is pointless to try and suppress their emotions, and so they give into them and let them all out.

2. Watching Horror Movies

They cannot fathom why anyone would delight in the pain and torture of another person, even a fictitious one on a movie screen. Even the fake Hollywood re-enactment of a scene of murder or torture is unbelievably twisted and perverse to them. What kind of monster feels good after a horror movie?

3. Criticism

Most people may see constructive criticism as a way to improve a skill or job performance, but to a sensitive person, it feels like an attack on their very person. It isn’t just that they need to improve in that particular area, but that they are flawed personally. Because they feel it much more personally than the average person, they will find ways to avoid criticism.

4. Quick Decisions

They tend to consider everyone when making a decision and can overanalyze a problem into oblivion. They find it difficult to make a hasty decision because they need to account for all of the variables. If they make a decision, even the right one, but end up hurting someone’s feelings in the process, they could find it more difficult to make a decision in the future. They will second guess themselves because they will feel that any decision could wind up adversely affecting someone else.

5. Tattoos

Sensations, whether physical or emotional, are heightened in a sensitive person. They cannot understand why anyone would voluntarily cause themselves pain for hours. Even for a pretty picture on their skin. Being jabbed with a needle at the doctor’s office is bad enough, but to be jabbed a few hundred times a minute is unthinkable for a sensitive person.

6. Rudeness

Because they are sensitive to the feelings of others, they cannot understand how people can be so thoughtless and rude to others. They are very polite, and boorish people might as well be an alien species to them. It doesn’t make sense to them how someone can be so oblivious to other people’s feelings.

7. Group Exercise or Sports

Sensitive people tend to avoid group exercise or sports because they feel like everyone is watching them and waiting for them to screw up. They tend to like bicycling, running, hiking, and other solo activities to ones where they might be judged by other people.

8. Being Overstimulated

Going to a club or concert with loud music and flashing lights is too much stimulation for a sensitive person. Imagine cranking up the volume to twice that and having the lights twice as bright. It would give you a headache really fast. This is how a sensitive person feels when there is too much sensory stimulation. It is physically painful to them and so they seek out quiet and dimly lit places like bookstores and coffee shops.
Related article: Here’s Why Everyone Needs A Sensitive Person In Their Life

9. Annoying Sounds

You may not notice your tapping feet or frenzied pen clicking, but the sensitive person is over there cringing and wishing you would just stop. Just stop already! Repetitive and loud noises drive sensitive people up the wall. You may not notice it, but they certainly do.

10. Open Office Plans

Sensitive people prefer to work in environments where they can control how much stimulation they receive. They prefer to work at home or in a place that has buffers to outside stimuli. An open office where there is no buffer or privacy makes it hard for someone who is hyper aware of their surroundings to concentrate.

What Causes Depression?   4 Possible Answers That Offer Practical Solutions

 

 

What causes depression? Is it something that you’re born with? Is it a chemical imbalance? Is it lifestyle related, or is it your experiences?

 

Depression and other mood disorders are very complex, and what causes depression is still not entirely understood. It’s become increasingly clear in recent years that the relationship between mind and body is less clear-cut than it was once thought to be, and that there may be a number of different causes of depression: some physiological, some related to experience, and some environmental – or, indeed, a combination of the above.

 

1. Inflammation of the body

Professor Ed Bulmore of Cambridge University believes that what causes depression is inflammation of the body. He has found that a third of depressed patients (a very significant proportion) show consistently high levels of inflammation. Just to give you an idea of the difference in levels of inflammation between normal and depressed patients, one depressed patient, interviewed on a BBC World Service broadcast, was found in blood tests to have an inflammation level of 40 where the normal level is just 0.7. In fact, high inflammation levels were such a consistent feature in depressed patients in the research, that it led the professor to conclude that inflammation is not simply a symptom but could actually be what causes depression. The professor also found that if patients were treated with anti-inflammatory medication, their mood improved rapidly and dramatically “often disproportionately to the amount of inflammation we could actually see”. Researchers at Rice and Ohio State University also came across similar findings that were published in the American Journal of Psychiatry.

 

2. Intestinal health

Gut health seems to play a major role in what causes depression and this may indeed relate to the previous point regarding inflammation. Inflammation is an immune system response to fight off infection, and gut health has a significant impact on immune system functioning.
Based on evidence from several studies, gut microbiota (that is microorganisms living in the intestines) are strongly linked to several neuropsychiatric disorders, including schizophrenia, anxiety and depression. Gut microorganisms are capable of emitting certain neuroactive substances such as gamma-aminobutyric acid that act on the gut-brain axis. It has also been found in experiments on rodents that pro-biotics have antidepressant and anxiolytic (anxiety relieving) effects.

 

 

3. Lack of exercise

When  you’re depressed, exercising is just about the last thing you can face doing. It can take all the energy you have just to wash the dishes and get yourself something to eat, never mind going for a run. Also, depression is often accompanied by poor body image, which, rather than being a motivator for getting fit, can actually be a deterrent. Nevertheless, it has been shown in numerous studies that exercise can considerably improve one’s chances of recovery from depression and help prevent depressive episodes. The thing to do, if you feel depressed, and would like to begin a program of exercise, is to start light and set achievable goals. 

Studies on depressed people using an exercise intervention showed that 20-40 minutes of walking, 3 times a week yielded excellent results and that gentle exercise interventions like these were as effective as cognitive therapy in treating depression.

 

 

4. Depression contagion

You might be surprised to learn that depression is a contagious illness. A study conducted on college students found that people can ‘catch’ negative thinking habits from a depressed or pessimistic person.
If you’re in a relationship with a depressed person it can be very difficult to avoid getting depressed yourself. Depressed people can’t be talked out of their negative perceptions and are more likely to start influencing your own thinking habits negatively than you are to influence theirs positively.
Psychologists advise being extremely aware in interaction with depressed people and say to make a mental note to silently disagree with what the depressed person is saying. They also advise keeping an eye firmly on your own negative thinking habits and consciously balancing them out with positive or reasonable thoughts. Finally, they suggest spending time with positive and optimistic people to counter the influence of the negativity coming from your depressed loved one.
Depression can affect anyone: women, men, children, teenagers, and the elderly. In each individual, it can manifest differently. Understanding what causes depression can help us to find appropriate solutions. If you’re depressed, make sure to try simple changes to lifestyle suggested by the above: look for inflammation in the body and try to treat it or prevent it by investigating its causes; start taking a probiotic or eating live yoghurt on a daily basis, especially if you suspect you may have an intestinal disorder; start exercising lightly by incorporating 30 minutes of walking into your daily routine.
Finally, be conscious of how much negativity you’re absorbing from others: instead of allowing it to get you down, suggest some of the solutions mentioned above to your loved one.

20 Things To Do When You’re 30 That Will Make Life Better At 50....Advice from grandparents..

20 Things To Do When You’re 30 That Will Make Life Better At 50

If life teaches harsh lesson, it’s that you have to face the fact that everything ‘sweet’ now, will cause trouble later on.
The best junk food meal will cause trouble in your body, no matter how drooling it might seem at first sight, or how delicious it is.
If we don’t throw some toxic habits while we can, they will sure cause massive trouble later.
If you don’t have grandparents to tell you couple of life advice’s, below you will find obvious secrets that will majorly help you later on.

1. Don’t smoke. If you’ve started, stop immediately

“If you could see me now, I’m down on my poor, crackling knees begging you to at least consider stopping smoking,” writes Quora user Cyndi Perlman Fink. It’s expensive, smells gross, and is 100% guaranteed to cause health problems. Want to be cancer-free at 50? Stop smoking.

 

2. Stop eating crap

“You can make a lot of money in 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,…90s to buy the whole world when you are at age 50 or beyond,” writes Quora user Sireesha Chilakamarri.  “But, you cannot buy your health. Give up on fast food right now at age 30.” (Study Shows That 61% Of Your Calories Are From Highly Processed Food)

 

 

3. Maintain (or repair) relationships with parents and siblings

“…Chances are you’ve come across ideas and changed in ways that mean you don’t see eye to eye with them on many issues. But then – that’s part of what a family can help with – to learn to get along with people you don’t agree with on many issues,” writes Quora user Robert Walker. “I come from a family which is very argumentative. If you didn’t understand the situation you might at times think we hate each other. But it isn’t like that at all. Rather, we free to speak our minds because the family ties are so strong.”

 

 

4. Stop going out in the sun without sunblock

“I was stupid. I didn’t listen. Do you want wrinkles and thin skin from sun damage like I have and do you want bruises from just lightly touching the side of a box and having your skin peel off? Go ahead, enjoy lying in the sun without sunblock,” writes Quora user Cyndi Perlman Fink.

 

 

5. Exercise regularly

Build an active lifestyle now, and when you’re 50 you won’t be stuck in a Rascal. “Don’t gain weight. Exercise. Keep your weight at a normal level that’s good for your body,” continues Cyndi Perlman Fink. “Weight does all kinds of bad things for you body. I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin, thin is healthier.”

 

 

6. Start saving money. Even if it’s just a tiny bit

“Save money. I know this is a boring, trite, and unsexy suggestion, but it’s true,” writes Quora user Cliff Gilley. “In your 30s, the average person has a lot of disposable income, some of which can almost always easily be set aside for use later in life.  Plus, building the habit of saving early means you’ll continue it further down the line.”

 

 

7. Learn to be content with what you have

“…Happiness is what matters far more than worldly success,” writes Quora user Robert Walker. “If you are content with what you have then you may be a bit less likely to end up a millionaire, but you will have a happier life.  And if you do become a wealthy person – is no reason why not, you’ll be a more happy, fulfilled and productive wealthy person.”

 

 

8. Don’t delay pursuing your life goals

“Want to buy a house? Have kids? Write a book? Get a second degree or advanced degree? Change your career? Learn to play a new musical instrument? Learn to cook gourmet meals? Try scuba diving? Run for public office? Start a business and be self-employed? Then start today,” writes Quora user Bill Karwin .  It’s easy to put things off. “I’ll get to that someday.” But it’s really true that time starts accelerating as you enter your 30’s, and it keeps accelerating. The time that you’ll get around to those dreams should be now.”

 

 

9. Get some sleep

“Use stellar sleep hygiene,” writes Quora user Nan Waldman. “A dark room or sleep shades will block out light. No bright screens before bedtime. Go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time.”

 

 

10. Take care of your teeth

“…Go to the freaking dentist already,” writes Quora user Caroline Zelonka. “Get your little cavities fixed as they come up. Unlike many body health issues, dental problems only get worse — and things like crowns and implants are uncomfortable, time-consuming and expensive (like, close to five figures per tooth for an extraction, implant and crown). If you have a good savings and income stream, the bills won’t be the painful thing — but there’s no getting around the pain and the time suck.”

 

 

11. Collect memories instead of things

You are the sum of your experiences. Don’t wake up when you’re 50 and realize that you’ve wasted life gathering possessions. Memories won’t depreciate and can’t be burned in a fire. (Inspired by Quora user Richard Careaga).

 

 

12. Give something back

“Give to others so you feel the goodness that service brings,” writes Quora user Nan Waldman. “However you give, do it with your full heart, soul, and effort. Expect nothing in return.”

 

 

13. Be curious and do one thing that scares you every day

“Get out of the house and have an honest-to-God adventure right now,” writes Quora user Mary Leek. “Make it as big as you can possibly manage, take lots of pictures, throw caution to the wind, take on the risk, grab the brass ring. If possible, include someone you’re close to – make a BIG memory. It has to be more than jumping out of an airplane – it needs to be measured in days, not hours or minutes. You’ll still be smiling about it when you’re old and creaky, I promise. I am.”

 

 

14. Read at least 10 books a year

“Gee I wish I spent more time watching TV and playing video,” said no 50 year-old ever. Your brain never stops growing, so exercise it with media that matters. (Inspired by Quora user Vanitha Muthukumar).

 

 

 

15. Travel. As much as possible, whenever you can

“Traveling will change you like little else can. It will put you in places that will force you to care for issues that are bigger than you,” writes Jeff Goins. “It’s about experiencing true risk and adventure so you don’t have to live in fear for the rest of your life. And…inspiring others to step out of that fear, too.

 

 

16. Learn to meditate

“The list of benefits is endless, it only costs you a small amount of time a day, the change in your life and the people you love will be amazing,” writes Quora user Rens De Nobel. “And compared to ten years ago, there are long lists of scientific studies to back it up.”

 

17. Do you focus on...

Trust me, the day your body starts to show the signs of wear & tear, you no longer see any fun in partying or trying to impress people around you,” writes Quora user Satish Kumar Grandhi. “You need to start your path of self discovery right now to become stronger by the time you are 50.”

 

 

18. Keep a journal

“You WILL forget more of your precious memories that you’ll remember,” writes Quora user Mark Crawley. “Your written records will entertain and endear in your future (wish I had). Your computer should make this archiving all the easier to implement and retain / recall. Put files on memory sticks with photos. Your kids (or surviving spouse) may someday love you for it.”

 

 

19. Become a homeowner

“Buy a house, it’ll be nearly paid for by the time you’re 50,” writes Quora user Liz Read.

 

 

20. Take care of your friends

“Choose people who make you feel like you already are your best self, who challenge you by their example, and who you genuinely enjoy,” explains Nan Waldman. “Nurture them. Laugh with them. Be silly too. Contribute to their survival and enjoyment of life. Take the time every week to be in touch.”

Why Highly Intelligent People Struggle to Find Love

In a conversation the other day, a friend of mine implied that he was single because he was too smart. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it probably had more to do with the fact that he looks like the secret love child of Rick Moranis and a woodland creature. Alas, being single myself, I wondered to myself, “does being smart make it harder to find love?”

In the end, I think it really does. I’m not saying that if you’re in love that you are stupid. I’m not saying that at all, so let’s be clear. I’m saying that highly intelligent people have a harder time falling in love, and here is why:

Intelligent People are More Analytical when it Comes to Love

Intelligent people tend to have better foresight. Foresight, in and of itself, is basically just the ability to analyze a situation, recall relevant past experiences, and make an educated assessment of the future possibilities of the situation. Apply that mentality to a relationship and you get situations where smarter people are quicker to duck out of a relationship at the first sign of trouble. If experience is the best teacher, then the smartest people will rely on experience to guide them. Relying on experience to navigate a relationship can be tricky, though.
Every relationship has similar situations. What ruined one relationship doesn’t always have to ruin another, but for people who rely heavily on their experiences, they can often walk away at the first signs of trouble.

Intelligent People are Guarded

Another side-effect of relying on experience when it comes to love is that intelligent people tend to be way more guarded. They have a harder time opening up because that analytical brain never stops reflecting back on past situations where they opened up to someone, and ultimately got hurt in the process. For this reason, other people assume the person is cold or distant, two characteristics no one wants in a partner.

Intelligent People are often Single by Choice

Highly intelligent people think analytically, even when it comes to things like relationships. Therefore, intelligent people realize that being alone is better than being with the wrong person. It’s a rational, thought-out decision. So, in essence, most really smart people are single because they want to be. It is a rational, thought out decision – not a circumstance of their situation.

14 Things All Over-Thinkers Will Understand

 

I don’t know who’s to blame for creating a generation of over-thinkers, but I blame…someone. I think. Maybe it’s ’cause we’re overly sensitive and wicked smart? Could that be why we’re so introspective? But whatever – we cool, we cool.

If you’re an over-thinker you might relate to and understand at least one of these things:  


1. When we say “we’re sorry,” we mean we’re really sorry. If we feel like we’ve hurt your feelings, what you didn’t see is the hours we spent going over every single detail of our fight. Seriously, rest assured knowing that whether you accept our apology or not, this will not soon be forgotten.


2. We’re not insecure control freaks, we just think. A lot. I mean you don’t have to call us back right away when you’re out, but just know that our mind is playing out a bunch of horrible scenarios in which you’ve cheated. Or died. That’s right, if we reach your voicemail, we can’t help but consider that you might not be alive.


3. Our critical thinking skills are pretty on point. Seriously, we have mastered the art of interpreting what people really mean by what they say.


4. But our friends don’t seem to appreciate our analytical ninja skills. They end up saying “you are so over-thinking this I can’t even,” when we proudly tell them that we’ve figured out what something really meant. 
 

5.Sleep is probably the most difficult aspect of our lives. Laying silently in the dark without any distraction inevitably makes us sink into our racing thoughts.


6. God forbid someone unfollows us on Instagram or unfriends us on Facebook. We won’t rest until we figure out who it was and why.


7. We delete texts, hesitate over writing emails and Facebook messages, delete and re-write tweets. All because we could and should have said something other than what we did. It takes us forever to write an important message. Okay, basically any message. 


8. When we go out we can be the life of the party – if the party is authentic and exciting (and has enough alcohol), we can live in the moment. Until the hangover. The next morning we are left in fear of what we could have said to that one person we’d rather die than act like an idiot in front of.


9. Of course, any pain in our body leads to us imagining the worst case scenario. We need someone to talk us off the ledge, and tell us they’ve experienced a pain similar to the one we’re describing.


10. We can’t let things go easily. We’re convinced that if we run over the details of a few more times, it will somehow change the outcome and we will uncover some new understanding of the situation.


11. We send a lot of screenshots of stuff…and evocative details. We need second opinions.

12. We actually enjoy a break from our heads. If someone takes us somewhere stimulating enough that we won’t have to be mind-numbingly introspective for once, we’ll love them forever. Well, you know.


13. What did they mean by “I’ll see you soon?” What does “soon” mean? Like soon soon? Or “soon”? We like when someone makes our lives a little less complicated and tells us straight up what they mean. I mean, we’ll probably spin it to mean something more, anyways, but it’s still nice. 


14. If we meet someone that makes us live in the moment, we’ll hang on to them for life. Or as long as we possibly can.

30 Things To Start Doing For Yourself. #4 Is Absolutely Vital

Marc and Angel are the authors of 1000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. Here’s their amazing list of 30 things to start doing for yourself. If you enjoy this, be sure to visit their website for more inspirational advice and tips for life.

#1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

#2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.

#3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled.

#4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.

#5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

#6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.

#7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.

#8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.

#9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.

#10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

#11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.

#12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.

#13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.

#14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

#15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.

#16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.

#17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.

#18. Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

#19. Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.

#20. Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.

 

 

#21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.

#22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.

#23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.

#24. Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

#25. Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.

#26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.

#27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

#28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.

#29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness.

#30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

This is such a wonderful list. If we take little steps every day and practice these things, we can make great improvements in our lives. Share this post with your friends and loved ones.